Luke & Reid: Best Quotes
under construction – this page will be updated as transcripts are completed
25 Jul 2011: updated through 28 April episode
28 Jul 2011: when I went to update the random quote generator I realized that I was missing a few episodes in Feb and March here, so they’ve just been added
19 January 2010
Luke: When do you think you can get to Oakdale for a consultation?
Reid: Um, let me see….How about….um, never?
Reid: What makes you think that I can just drop everything and fly out to uh…where the hell is Oakdale?
Reid: You seem to think I have the time of day for you, and I’m curious as to why.
Reid: I don’t need your money, and I don’t want your case.
Luke: May I ask why?
Reid: It bores me to tears. Just like you’re doing right now.
Lily: He won’t take Noah’s case.
Damian: Well, then, offer him more money. Whatever he wants; it’s not a problem.
Damian: You said he doesn’t want to take the case.
Luke: He said it ‘bored him.’
Damian: That’s new.
Luke: How do I get this guy to change his mind?
Damian: It’s simple, son.
Luke: Well, I’m glad you think so.
Damian: I know so. Make him an offer he can’t refuse.
Luke: No, you heard me. I said that if Dr. Oliver doesn’t take my call, he’ll run the risk of losing his medical license. Yeah, I’ll hold. [Whispering] Are you sure this is gonna work?
Luke: Yes, yes, hello. I thought you’d like to talk to me.
Reid: You’re threatening to have my medical license revoked?
Luke: Not if you take on Noah’s case.
Reid: You’ve covered all the bases, haven’t you?
Luke: And once you get in Oakdale, there will be a car to take you to Memorial hospital. We’ll be waiting.
Reid: With flowers and candy, I hope.
Luke: We just want Noah to get a fair chance.
Reid: This is fair in your eyes, Mr. Snyder?
Lily: What exactly did Damian say to you?
Luke: He said that if you love somebody, the ends justify the means. Mom, what are you thinking?
Lily: I’m thinking I need to speak to your father.
Reid: We both know why I’m here. Let’s not pretend that this is a normal consult.
Luke: Look, I — I’m sorry. I just felt as if —
Reid: You felt that you could blackmail me. I’m curious, how much did it cost you to get dirt on me?
Reid: What I see is the big, fat, silver spoon in your mouth that I hope you choke on. You have any idea how many people actually wait their turn to see me, who don’t feel that they deserve to move to the front of the line just because they were born with blue blood in their veins?
Reid: Okay, there’s a commercial flight that’s heading back to Dallas in an hour. I’m already booked on it. It was a displeasure meeting you, Mr. Snyder.
Luke: So, what’s the verdict? Is he just another boring blind guy who’s not worthy of your talents?
Reid: I don’t like you.
Luke: Yeah, I got that.
Reid: But Noah didn’t ask for this, and his movies are gonna be pretty rough if he can’t see.
Reid: Arrogance appeals to me. What can I say?
Luke: I do not know how to thank you.
Reid: Well, how about this — as soon as I’m finished restoring Noah’s eyesight, I never hear from you again, and you throw away the dirt that you have on me?
Luke: It’s a deal.
Reid: It better be a deal. I’m the one that’s gonna be cutting open your boyfriend’s head.
Luke: Did that really just happen?
Noah: I think it actually did. He doesn’t like you at all.
22 January 2010
Reid (to Luke and Noah): Even hostages have to eat, Mr. Snyder. I was down in the cafeteria consuming something that called itself "Lunch." But there’s nothing like those orange plastic trays to remind you of botulism.
Reid (to Luke and Noah): Since Mr. Snyder dragged me here to Oakhay, Illinois — which is, by the way, the most self-satisfied white-bread community I have ever seen and home of the world’s most unappealing grilled-cheese sandwich.
Reid (to Luke and Noah): …let’s do this now and get it over with. It’s time to make a blind man see.
Luke: Wait. You want to operate on Noah today?
Reid: I want to be drinking a beer back in Texas, but I’m prepared to operate.
Luke: But he just had lunch. You — you can’t eat and then go under anesthesia.
Reid: Really? I hadn’t heard that.
Luke: So what, you’re just going to walk in there and perform brain surgery?
Reid: Why not?
Luke: Well, do you know anyone here?
Reid: You mean besides you?
Luke: Is this even safe?
Reid: Look, I’m not crazy about the idea of working with a new staff in a backwards operating room, but a brain is a brain.
Luke: … you really think that you’re going to help him?
Reid: Isn’t that why you kidnapped me?
Reid: You. You look important.
Bob: Excuse me?
Reid: If there’s such a thing as an operating room in this hospital, I need one now. Along with your top neuro team, a Midas, B1 foot plate, and an IGS system, which I pray to God is not considered an antique.
Bob: Who are you? What are you doing in my hospital?
Luke: Dr. Hughes, this is Dr. Reid Oliver. He’s the neurologist from Dallas who’s coming to see Noah. Um, Bob is the chief of staff here.
Reid: And naturally, you’re on a first-name basis.
Bob: There’s no guarantee that your procedure will work, and there is a significant chance that it could make his condition worse.
Reid: He’s already blind. How much worse could it get?
Bob: Look, Doctor, maybe your chief in Dallas puts up with your arrogance because you’re good with a scalpel —
Reid: I’m the best, actually.
Bob: This is my hospital, and I’m not about to sign off on this surgery unless I’m satisfied that Noah knows what to expect when he wakes up.
Reid: Because his boyfriend is a family friend, or maybe a donor?
Reid: Now I need an O.R. and a full staff, your best people. It would help if they’d been to medical schools sometime within the last 30 years.
Bob: My chief of neurology is bringing his team in. Uh, he’s aware of you and would like to observe.
Reid: As long as it’s clear to everyone that I’m in charge of the O.R. No back-seat driving.
Kim: What an ego. I wouldn’t let that guy anywhere near me, even if my life depended on it.
Bob: Yes, you would. He is unbearable, but I’m told he’s a genius. Besides, you’d be sedated.
Reid: Okay, Noah. Tell your boyfriend you’ll see him later, ’cause you will.
Reid: You didn’t ask me to come here, Mr. Snyder. You forced me to. My time is extremely valuable. Just ask any of my patients who are waiting for me back in Dallas. And God help you if one of them doesn’t make it because I’ve been wasting my time here.
Reid: I’m not a magician, Mr. Snyder. Even if I were, I’d only give Noah a 20% chance of getting off the table. He needs months of surgery, not a drive-by. I came, I saw, I folded. Now I’m leaving.
Luke: Well, you got to find your own way back. You’re not using the Grimaldi jet.
Reid: Big shock. You didn’t get what you wanted from me. Now you’re taking your toys, and you’re going home. Have a nice life.
Luke: What will it take to get you to stick around and finish what you started?
Reid: My God, you’re relentless.
Luke: I just want what’s best for Noah.
Reid: You mean the best that money can buy.
Luke: And you say that that’s you.
Reid: It is, but I’m not for sale.
Reid: I don’t know how to make this clear to you. I’m not taking your boyfriend’s case. I’m done. So quit ordering me around like I’m one of your servants. I don’t need your money. It doesn’t impress me.
Reid: I’m getting sick and tired of this little command performance of yours. I don’t care how rich and accustomed you are to getting your way, Mr. Snyder, I don’t want to be here. I have people waiting for me back in Dallas, people that I actually want to help. So if you’re not going to drive me, I’m going to drive myself. You can pick up your car at the airport. Don’t forget to tip the valet.
25 January 2010
Luke: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where the hell do you think you’re going?
Reid: To the airport.
Luke: You just hit someone! She could be hurt. She’s the chief of staff’s wife.
Reid: Then they’ll run a hundred tests she doesn’t need for free and confirm what I can already see from here. She’s fine. Now get out of my way.
Reid: What are you gonna do, string me up in the town square?
Reid: You kidnapped me, you flew me out here on your daddy’s jet, chained me to your boyfriend’s side to perform a surgery most people I treat wait over a year for. So, yeah, this is your fault.
Reid: See, there you go. One good day at a spa. It’ll be like nothing happened.
Luke: Officer, this man hit her car and now he’s trying to leave the scene of an accident.
Reid: Oh, for the love of God.
Police officer: You can pray on your own time, Pal. License and registration, please.
Reid: Do me a favor. Could you just pull out your gun and shoot me?
Reid: Look, Officer Fife, or whatever your name is, I’m really sorry about this whole mess. I’m a neurosurgeon. That means I operate on brains. Okay. I’m based in Dallas. I have to catch a plane to get back to my patients, people who actually need me.
Bob: What does it say?
Luke: Driving with an expired license, operating a stolen vehicle, attempting to leave the scene of an accident, and —
All: Resisting arrest.
Bob: He’s a jerk, but a talented jerk.
Reid: What I’ve run into is a confederacy of idiots — lots and lots of idiots, with a couple of jerks sprinkled in. Your doctors went to clown college. Your cops are dumber than rocks. And that’s a — that’s a medical diagnosis. I didn’t steal any car, okay? All I was trying to do was to get to the airport so that I could get back to Dallas. I was strong-armed into coming here by one Luke Snyder, who was one of the jerks that I mentioned. When I didn’t agree to operate on his boyfriend, he had me arrested and detained. And now whatever chance I have of getting on a flight today is ruined. So look, I’d appreciate it if you could just save us both a lot of aggravation. Let me have my cell phone back so I can at least try to book a seat on the next flight out of this town that — time forgot.
Judge: Are you telling the court you’re leaving Oakdale, Dr. Oliver?
Reid: As fast as I possibly can, your honor. Yes, if I could flap my wings and bust through your ceiling, already be on my way.
Judge: You realize you’ve just told me you’re a flight risk?
Reid: Are you kidding me? Where am I? What is this horrible rabbit hole that I’ve fallen down?
Judge: You’re remanded into custody until trial next month.
Reid: Next month? Are you out of your mind? You can’t do that.
Bob: Curt, Kim was behind the wheel of the car that Dr. Oliver struck.
Reid: "Curt"? You two know each other? What am I saying? Of course you do.
Reid: Let me guess. You both belong to the same country club. Or no, your wives play bridge together.
Reid: Your wife is fine. It wasn’t a wreck. It was a little fender bender. You’re trying to make this sound worse than it is.
Bob: Doctor, why don’t you do yourself a favor and keep your mouth shut? If I were you, I would throw him in a cell and leave him there, but that would be a great disservice to patients that might benefit from him enormous skill, which unfortunately is in direct proportion to his enormous ego. This is what I would suggest — that you release him into my recognizance.
Bob: He can practice with me at the hospital under my guidance until his trial.
Reid: Can I still choose jail? Or how about a firing squad?
Bob: Dr. Reid Oliver is a pompous blowhard, but he is not a criminal, and I can use his skills around here.
Bob: Well, getting Oliver here is a real coup, no matter how I managed to do it.
Kim: He is gonna drive you so crazy. You know how you hate these hot dogs that cut out and don’t have any time for their patients.
Bob: Bedside manner is teachable. Genius is a little harder to come by.
Reid: Are you proud of yourself, Mr. Snyder?
Noah: Dr. Oliver? I thought you went back to Dallas.
Reid: Oh, did you not tell your boyfriend about your little stunt?
Luke: Well, I didn’t have time. Uh, Dr. Oliver had a little accident.
Reid: Thanks to you, I am now stuck in Oakhell for a month. Do you realize how many surgeries I’m gonna have to postpone back in Dallas? Do you care that people might die?
Luke: Well, I’m sure they’ve got you covered. And if you need a surgery fix, Noah’s still here for you.
Reid: If you actually think that I would still even consider —
Luke: Well, you know, we do have your cell phone number. So we’ll call you for a consultation.
29 January 2010
Luke: [Clears throat] Sorry to interrupt.
Reid: No, you’re not.
Luke: Uh, do you have a minute, just to talk?
Reid: Not really. This hospital’s full of whining hypochondriacs. Must be something in the water.
Reid: Like this guy. "Chronic fatigue." Want to ship him C.O.D. to a leper colony, see how tired he is then.
Luke: Your treatment methods are very unorthodox.
Reid: Oh, listen to you, trying to sound all clever. You want to make me happy? Get me out of here. I don’t enjoy being held hostage.
Luke: Oh, that wasn’t my decision. That was the judge’s. But as long as you’re here, you might –
Reid: Look, I don’t do charity work. Unfortunately, your boyfriend’s case falls under that category. As soon as my attorneys get these bogus charges dropped, I’m out of here.
Luke: Even though he’s the only patient in this town worthy of your genius? Look, if you do this, I will put in a good word for you with Dr. Hughes, and I’ll get you out of here early, maybe cut some of your legal fees.
Reid: Wow. First blackmail, now bribery.
Luke: Well, if it works, you bet.
Luke: I know for a fact that Noah’s case doesn’t bore you.
Reid: You bore me. That’s enough of a reason, as far as I’m concerned.
Luke: You said that Noah’s surgery and his recovery will be very time-consuming.
Reid: You think you’re going to win points by repeating my words back to me?
Reid: Look, I realize that this is a small town and that your boyfriend may be the only blind guy within a 100-mile radius, but he’s not the only patient at this hospital.
Luke: Well, he’s the only one that you care about.
Reid: I have rounds to make.
Luke: Yeah, yeah. I heard that that guy in the next room has this wicked case of athlete’s foot. I’m sure he’d be thrilled to have a world-class neurosurgeon come in and help take that burning itch away.
Reid: You really think you’re endearing yourself to me, Mr. Snyder? Or should I say Mr. Grimaldi? Yeah, God bless the internet. Your family’s reputation precedes you, though I got to say you’re beginning to do it justice. First you offer money, and if that doesn’t work, you move on to blackmail and bullying.
Luke: Look, I don’t want to blackmail you. I just want you to operate on Noah so he can see again. That’s it.
Reid: That’s it?
Reid: Why didn’t you say so? Here. Call my office in Dallas. Schedule yourself an appointment. I should have an opening this time next year if you’re lucky. You can wait in line like everyone else. No? Okay. I can’t be bought, and I’m not easily pushed around. That leaves you all out of luck, doesn’t it?
Reid: Unless your kid is the next Mozart, she’s not going to answer you.
Katie: You’re a doctor?
Reid: Clearly you’re not the next Mozart either.
Katie: Will you look at my baby?
Reid: Do I have to?
Katie: I mean will you examine her?
Reid: Are you kidding me?
Katie: Um, you’re a doctor. I have a sick child. Aren’t you bound by some sort of oath to help me?
Reid: I’ll have to check, but I’m pretty sure the oath is only binding on hospital property. This is a coffee shop.
Katie: I don’t even know why I was asking a podiatrist about a baby anyway.
Reid: I look like a podiatrist?
Katie: You look like you have your foot up your — Jacob, it’s fine. I’ll find you a real doctor.
Reid: Wait. Hold on. I’ll — look at your baby. You walk out with him screaming like that, he’s going to be labeled a menace to society before he cuts his first tooth.
Reid: I think your kid’s developing his first ear infection.
Reid: Yeah. Just — it’s not a flu. Take him to your pediatrician. He’ll slap an antibiotic on him. He’ll be better in ten minutes.
Katie: Uh, well, first of all, my pediatrician is a she, and apparently, she’s on vacation, according to her service. Do you have another pediatrician you could recommend?
Reid: Oh, I’m a podiatrist, remember? What do I know from pediatrics?
Katie: I’m sorry I said that before. I was just a little stressed out, and you were being, um — not like you’re being now.
Katie: So, what kind of doctor are you?
Katie: You’re a brain surgeon?
Reid: Don’t look so shocked.
Reid: What did you think brain surgeons looked like?
Katie: I don’t know, but I thought they’d be a lot nicer.
Reid: Sorry to disappoint.
Reid: It’s a long story.
Katie: What’s the short version?
Reid: The chief of staff here is basically my professional warden for the next month or so.
Katie: Not a big fan of hotels?
Reid: They’re germ farms. Sharing sheets and pillows with complete strangers? It’s — ugh. Thank God I have no problem sleeping in chairs. And now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wash my hands. Your kid is a little germ breeder, too.
Reid: Hey, you can’t just leave him here. What — what if he trips over a nurse?
Reid: I’m done dealing with you and your boyfriend. If I wanted somebody to follow me around here, I’d get a dog or an intern.
Noah: Luke doesn’t speak for me.
Reid: You might want to tell him that.
Noah: Luke and I — I don’t know what we are right now, okay? All I know is that I can’t see, and you’re the one man who can change that.
Reid: You really think minimizing your relationship to me is going to change my mind about the surgery?
Noah: I — I have a question for you. What do you want? What do you want more? Do you want to get back at Luke for disrupting your life, or do you want to add me to your growing list of successful operations?
Reid: I haven’t decided yet.
Noah: How about you try?
Noah: So I’m still blind, right?
Reid: Never heard that one before.
1 February 2010
Reid: You didn’t say anything about a threesome.
Henry: A threesome?
Katie: Henry doesn’t live here.
Henry: No, I — not technically I don’t live — I don’t get my mail here. But, uh, I’m here a lot. I’m actually here almost all the time. I have my own key.
Reid: So do I. And I will be getting my mail here.
Reid: If you frisk me, I’m gonna expect you to take me out to dinner.
Henry: Don’t you remember that doctor in England, the one that turned out to be a serial killer?
Reid: Harold Shipman. I examined his brain as part of a neurological study into the origins of evil. Don’t worry. I haven’t used what I learned to kill anyone – yet.
Henry: Uh, has he signed the lease yet?
Katie: Not yet.
Henry: That’s great. That will save me the trouble of ripping it up.
Luke: I hope you live up to your own hype. Otherwise, you have to answer to me.
Katie: You don’t know anything about him.
Henry: I know that he’s very impressed with himself. I know you’re gonna have to raise the ceiling to accommodate his head.
Henry: I also think he’s very insensitive to the feelings of others, namely me.
Katie: What am I supposed to do? Sit here alone every night after I put Jacob to sleep?
Henry: No, no, no! But you don’t need Dr. McBrainy to keep you company.
Holden: You aren’t Luke’s real father. You never have been, and you never will be. Luke is my son in every way that matters. And once he finds out what you’ve done to his mother and to the rest of his family, he will never want to see you again.
Henry: Look, you know, this guy could be strange or — or psychotic.
Katie: Or insane, like you.
Katie: Are you kidding me? I didn’t even sleep with Simon. Why would I sleep with a total stranger?
Henry: It’s been known to happen.
Henry: Okay. Oh, and before I forget, would you ask Dr. Big brain if he studied babysitting at Harvard?
Katie: As a matter of fact, he did tell me he was part of an infant study.
Henry: As the control group?
Reid: If you’re here to challenge me to a duel, I left my sword in my other lab coat.
Henry: How would you feel if the man that you love was shot and killed before he had a chance to see his kid?
Reid: I’m not quite sure how to answer that.
Henry: Well, you’d be a mess. And if you were Katie, then that would mean long crying, hysterical jags to like 3:00 A.M., and inappropriate laughter and sudden mood swings and rage and then smashing the dishes, which scares the beejeebees out of the baby. But you being a world-famous brain surgeon, I’m sure you can handle all that. Cutting into noggins all day, so you must have nerves of steel, which you are going to need.
Reid: I sleep with earplugs.
Reid: I don’t blame you for wanting to keep a beautiful woman like Bubbles all to yourself.
Reid: Truth is, I’m rather moody myself. Even world-famous brain surgeons have needs. And with a hottie like Katie on the other side –
Reid: Babies are resilient. I learned that at Harvard.
Lily: I hate what he did, Luke. I — I just — I can’t turn off my feelings. It — it wouldn’t be love then. It’s okay for you to still love him, Luke. He is a part of you.
Luke: [Groans] I wish that he weren’t.
Luke: I’m sorry I ever trusted him.
Holden: It’s okay. He’s your father.
Luke: No. No, you are my father, and I am so lucky for that.
Henry: Okay, I tried. I really tried. I gave the guy a chance. I did. But I don’t trust him. I don’t care if he did go to Hah-vard. I really don’t. The guy is sleazy. He is sleazy, and you don’t need sleaze right now. I will find you a roommate, Katie, all right? A female, preferably a nun.
Katie: Could you be more over-the-top?
Henry: W — why, ’cause I don’t want you living with a serial killer?
Katie: I searched him. And it turns out that Dr. Oliver is one of the top neurosurgeons in the world.
Henry: So? That doesn’t make him a good roommate.
Katie to Henry: I think just knowing he’s around will help. Besides, if you get too crazy, he can give you a home lobotomy.
Henry: You know, you better clean out the freezer, because severed heads take up a lot of room.
Reid: Did you bring the lease?
Katie: Yeah. Um, didn’t you want to talk about rent?
Reid: Nah. I’m just gonna send the bill to Bob Hughes anyway. He owes me at least that for putting me on hangnail duty.
Katie: What about neurosurgery?
Reid: If I could find somebody in this town with a brain, I might consider it. But so far, no such luck.
Reid: I have no stuff. I was kidnapped and brought here against my will. I don’t even have an extra pair of socks.
Katie: I could take you shopping, you know?
Reid: Eh, just point me in the direction of the nearest discount department store. I’ll buy 50 pairs of underwear, 50 shirts. If I’m not in Dallas by the time I run out, euthanize me.
Katie: I do you have a washer and a dryer.
Reid: Okay. Good. Well, if you could use biodegradable soap only, you know, that would be great.
Katie: Uh, no, I’m not gonna be doing your laundry for you. I can show you how the machine works, then you’re on your own.
Reid: I don’t have time to watch my shirts spin dry.
Katie: Do you ever do anything but work?
Reid: I went to Vegas once.
Katie: Did you have fun?
Reid: It was a medical conference. If they have actual daylight in that city, I never saw it.
Katie: For a guy who went to Harvard, you sure have a lot to learn.
Reid: I guess it depends on the teacher.
10 February 2010
Maddie: Don’t even think about moving out. You’re not gonna be able to find a cheap place anywhere in this town. Even your big, bad doctor couldn’t find a place. He’s living with Katie.
Henry: Don’t you "Oh, stop" me. That guy gives rude and insensitive a bad name.
Reid: The point is, I don’t like running into you, Mr. Snyder. But since you’ve shown up uninvited to my patient’s appointment, what is it you want?
Reid: What’s the emergency? Did you snap a string on your tennis racket?
Luke: My father’s disappeared. Is that enough of an emergency for you? He’s vanished, and he’s left me with a company and a million questions, and I just — [Luke scoffs] Why am I telling you this? The only thing that you’ve ever lost is a fee.
Henry: He is not a nice guy! He is rude, and he is snide. He’s so conceited!
Katie: Okay, he’s not all warm and fuzzy. And on the outside, he’s a little cold.
Henry: Try heartless.
Katie: He’s driven.
Henry: He’s a monomaniac.
Katie: He’s focused. That’s why he’s a good doctor.
Henry: He is focused! He’s focused on himself all the time.
Katie: He has feelings, Henry. He just doesn’t show them all the time like —
Henry: Like — what, like me? Well, I am sorry, Katie, but I will not apologize for being human. It comes in handy when you need a friend.
Noah: Wait. How are my pupils doing? I mean, are — are they getting worse? Is the surgery still on?
Reid: Fine, no, yes. I’ll call to schedule our next appointment.
Noah: Wait, wait, wait! So, when do I, um, get my miracle cure?
Reid: I deal in science. You want a miracle? Go to Lourdes.
Noah: What’s with you today? Did Katie wake you up for Jacob’s 3:00 A.M. feeding?
Reid: Does everybody in this town make it a point to know everybody else’s business?
Reid: You want to know what my problem is? Ask your buddy Luke.
Noah: When did you see him?
Reid: Oh, he was having a bad hair day. He wanted to see you.
Reid: Let’s be clear, Mr. Mayer. I’m not your friend, and I’m not your shrink.
Noah: Right. I know that.
Reid: When those lines get crossed, things get messy. I don’t like messes. Clean up yours or find another surgeon.
Maddie: Excuse me. I have been helping my dear friend Noah.
Henry: Oh, that is — that is a good deed, considering the situation.
Maddie: Why? What do you mean? ‘Cause he left me for Luke?
Henry: No, not at all. I mean because of his neurosurgeon from hell, this Dr. "It’s all about me," Reid Oliver.
Maddie: Luke basically blackmailed him to come to town to treat Noah.
Maddie: Mm-hmm. Down, boy. I don’t think he had any dirt on him. I think it was just all bluff.
Reid: You have a chance to save a life, and you’re getting cold feet? What the hell’s your problem?
Reid: If Jacob’s sister needs a bone-marrow transplant, then she needs one now. You wringing your hands and dreaming up worst-case scenarios — it just wastes time.
Reid: Don’t tell me that Jacob is just a baby. It just means that he’s too young to worry about it. Give him a kiss. Give him his teddy bear. Get over yourself. See? That wasn’t so hard.
Henry: You’re smiling. You never smile. What’s the matter with you?
Reid: You tried to make trouble for me, Hank. You shouldn’t have done that.
Henry: Me, make trouble for you? I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Reid: I just got a call a few minutes ago from a friend back in Dallas, John Barber. I thought that name might get you. Seems somebody’s been asking questions about me, offering to pay for information. He thought I’d want to know. He owes me one for cutting a tumor out of his grandma. That someone wouldn’t happen to be you, would it, Hank?
Henry: I want to prove to Katie that I’m right about you.
Reid: Prove what, that I’m not all warm and fuzzy? She already knows that.
Henry: When she finds out what kind of guy you really are, she is going to kick you out on your tail.
Reid: Here’s the thing, Hank. I like Katie’s place. Hell, I even like Katie and the kid. I’m not going anywhere.
Henry: Here’s the thing, Reid. Once I expose you for who you really are —
Reid: Oh, speaking of exposing, excuse me. Hey, orderly?
Orderly: Yes, Dr. Oliver.
Reid: I need some help with my patient here. He just tested positive for tuberculosis.
Henry: I did not.
Reid: He needs to be quarantined immediately.
Noah: I — I heard you, uh, stopped by the hospital.
Luke: Did Dr. Oliver tell you that?
Noah: Told me, yelled at me, threatened me, yeah.
Reid: Uh, feel free to keep doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’m gonna go to my room.
Katie: Aren’t you gonna ask me why I’m crying?
Katie: Don’t feel bad. It’s not ’cause you were such a jerk to me before.
Katie: [sobbing] Is this a hug?
Reid: Absolutely not. A — are you — are you done yet?
Katie: I can’t help it. I’m sad. And when I’m sad, I cry.
Reid: Well, tears don’t help. They just cause your eyes to swell and your skin to blotch.
Katie: How would you know?
Reid: I’ve seen examples.
Reid: You have to grow thicker skin.
Katie: Yeah. How do I do that?
Reid: Those who can do. Those who can’t cry.
Katie: You did it.
Reid: I was born this way.
Katie: So you’re telling me when you were a brand-new doctor and you lost your first patient that it didn’t get to you? You just said, "Oh, well, that’s it. On to the next."
Reid: I save them. Each picture in here is of a patient that I lost. Not every patient, just the ones that, um —
Katie: Made you want to cry.
Reid: I fight death every day. The ones I lose make me meaner and tougher for the next time.
Katie: I hate that I lost Brad. I hate it so much. So if I can be tougher and meaner and — I’m gonna do what you do.
Reid: Become a brilliant neurosurgeon?
Katie: I’m gonna use my grief to fight for Brad’s daughter, and I’m gonna win.
Henry: Hey! If you’re not gonna let me out of here, can you at least give me an extra blanket? My backside is freezing! Quarantine my frozen tundra. And find that quack Reid Oliver, okay? Tell him he can’t do this to me! [Henry grunts] Tell him I’m going to take his butt to the AMA, and the CIA, and the — the AARP, the ASPCA! He’s history, do you hear me? He is history!
Luke: Do you hate your dad?
Noah: Sometimes. But you’re the one that made me feel like that was okay, that if I could accept everything about him, all the good and the bad stuff about my dad that I could deal, and that would help me get past it.
Luke: I said that? That’s pretty smart.
Noah: You have your moments.
15 February 2010
Reid: Well, you can scratch the lady in 402, Simmons.
Bob: What happened?
Reid: She drove me nuts with her questions. I strangled her.
Bob: She was scared. She needed reassurance.
Reid: And you assigned her to me? How advanced is your dementia?
Reid: You want to see my fuzzy, teddy-bear side? Get me on a flight back to Texas.
Bob: Let’s see if we get hit with a lawsuit by a perfectly healthy patient that you quarantined.
Reid: You heard about that?
Bob: Didn’t you think that I would?
Bob: He got annoyed with Henry Coleman, and he diagnosed him with T.B.
Kim: You’re kidding?
Reid: He needed a time-out.
Bob: We prefer that our doctors don’t use their hospital privileges to settling personal grievances.
Reid: Really? That’s the whole reason I got into medicine.
Henry: What? What is it? You think it’s funny that he put me in quarantine?
Katie: I think it’s funny that you jumped out of the window in your hospital gown.
Bob: I thought we agreed that you would conform to our standards as long as you were here.
Reid: When did we agree to that?
Bob: When I gave you temporary privileges.
Reid: You didn’t have a choice. The rich kid wanted me to take care of his boyfriend.
Bob: Luke Snyder asked me for a favor. He doesn’t make the rules here.
Reid: The rich kids always make the rules.
Bob: Not in this hospital. There’s a patient in 406 that has a suppurated cyst that needs your attention.
Reid: What? No way! Find someone else.
Bob: That’s an order.
Reid: You know what you’re doing? You’re using your hospital privileges to settle a personal grievance.
Bob: I am? Where would I learn a thing like that?
Henry: What — what kind of doctor quarantines a healthy man?
Katie: The kind that’s as annoyed with you as I am right now.
Reid: You broke your date to defend my honor?
Katie: Something like that.
Reid: You didn’t have to do that. I already paid him back.
Katie: I know. That wasn’t so nice, either.
Reid: Where did you get the idea I do nice?
Katie: [Reid takes Katie’s box of ice cream] What are you doing? Hey, I was eating that.
Reid: No, you were inhaling it.
Reid: We’re going to the wedding. What? It will be — fun.
Katie: Why would I get the idea that you do fun?
Reid: The groom is Dr. Hughes’ grandson. Maybe if I show the old blowhard some respect, he’ll give the suppurating cyst to someone else.
Katie: Okay, gross.
Katie: Wait. Reid, uh, a word of advice. Bob Hughes won’t be fooled by any kind of phony butt-kissing.
Reid: I learned a long time ago the most important thing in life is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you can fake anything.
Reid: Well, I figured since I’m gonna be working here in Oakdale, I should make more of an effort to be part of the community.
Kim: [sarcastically] Why?
Bob: I — I think that’s a good idea. I’m glad you came.
Reid: Well, congratulations again.
Katie: See you.
Bob: It’s amazing what a suppurating cyst can do.
Reid: I think he bought that. Don’t you?
Reid: Dr. Hughes needs a doctor to go with him.
Mick: Then go. You’re getting on my last nerve anyway.
Reid: No, not me. Let Dr. Stewart go.
Kim: Would you mind telling me how you guys came up with this unbelievable scheme?
Bob: I thought to myself, what would Dr. Oliver do?
23 February 2010
Reid: Hey, watch where you’re going. Oh, Mr. Snyder. Funny, I thought your boyfriend would be the one who’d have trouble seeing people in his way.
Luke: You’re standing on some of my papers.
Reid: Am I?
Luke: If you could just move your feet maybe two inches to the left, I can get (my papers), get out of here, and get out of your way.
Reid: Yeah. If it helps get rid of you, I’ll even pick it up myself.
Reid: Interesting hobby.
Reid: Looking at photos of dead people. I prefer chess myself, but to each his own.
Reid: Mr. Snyder, you’re being offered the expertise of one of the top neurosurgeons in the world, and you’re gonna turn it down. Just how stupid are you?
Reid: I don’t envy you.
Luke: What are you talking about?
Reid: Well, it must have been pretty tough, dealing with your father’s condition, especially for somebody who’s as impatient as you are.
Reid: If your father didn’t have advanced Huntington’s, then the poor bastard in these photos wasn’t your father.
24 February 2010
Katie: What do you think the AMA would say about a doctor eating like that?
Reid: Bon appétit.
Katie: That’s disgusting and a heart attack waiting to happen.
Katie: You’ve never had your cholesterol checked, I assume?
Reid: I’ve been carving up the brains of health-conscious people for years. If a couple of them had stopped and smelled the salami and cheese, they would have been much better off.
Katie: I thought that Bob Hughes was in charge of you until your hearing.
Reid: Well, seeing as how I saved him and the missus at that sorry excuse for a wedding, I figure he can pass along a word or two on my behalf.
Katie: You think Bob is going to ask the judge to let you go back to Dallas sooner?
Reid: All he has to do is call up his golfing buddy, tell him that I’m a life-saver. I’m as good as gone. I’ll have my life back. You’ll have your spare bedroom. Win-win.
Reid: Holy co-dependency. You don’t want me to leave.
Katie: Well, I certainly won’t miss cleaning up after you or your weird 3:00 A.M. Yoga chanting in my living room, so get over yourself.
Reid: Well, I’m an expert diagnostician. That was real sadness there.
Katie: You’re an expert narcissist. Whatever.
Reid: And that’s called deflection.
Reid: This is just so weird.
Reid: Most people can’t wait to get rid of me. You seem to want to keep me around.
Henry: Don’t you ever go to work?
Reid: Don’t you ever have someplace else to be?
Katie: No, I mean it, Henry. I don’t want it.
Reid: How much is it?
Henry: It’s — it’s millions. It’s many, many millions.
Reid: Hell, I’ll take it.
Katie: It’s blood money. It’s cursed. And I wouldn’t have believed that about six months ago, but I also wouldn’t have believed in ghosts, so no thanks.
Henry: Listen, listen, I thought this through, okay? If we give the money to someone who deserves it, like your son, then the curse is reversed.
Reid: You people are all nuts in this town. Katie, take the money. This curse nonsense is just that. It’s nonsense.
Henry: I can’t believe I’m going to say that, but for the very first time, I actually agree with that jerk.
Katie: Well, it may be the last time, ’cause he’s leaving town.
Henry: He is?
Katie: That’s what he said.
Henry: Well, this day just gets better and better.
Bob: Dr. Oliver, have you been in the pharmacy? You look happy.
Reid: That’s funny.
Bob: I’m talking about this patient.
Reid: I know, to avoid what you know we should be discussing.
Bob: Which is?
Reid: You feel you owe me for coming to your rescue at that sham of a wedding. No big thank you required. Not even a mea culpa. Just call up your golfing buddy judge friend and get him to drop the charges against me so I can go home. Deal?
Bob: We have a slight misunderstanding.
Reid: I can wait a day. Not two.
Bob: I really appreciated your help at the wedding, but your legal problems are not my concern. I wouldn’t dream of interfering.
Reid: You wouldn’t dream of inter — you are the reason that I’m still here.
Bob: I’m the reason that you’re doing your penance here instead of in a jail cell.
Reid: This is just as bad.
Bob: Well, you haven’t seen our jail.
Bob: Dr. Oliver, I think you would find this case very interesting.
Reid: You know what I find interesting? That chart shoved so far up –
Bob: All right, forget it. Forget it. I’ll call the — I’ll call Channing in Chicago for a referral.
Reid: Channing? That idiot? I can’t believe that guy still has a license to practice medicine. Let me see that.
Katie: There would have been a time where the thought of me pouring you a glass of milk to go with your perfect, crust-free peanut butter and jelly sandwich would have been an impossibility.
Henry: And yet here we are. Isn’t this easier to watch than that meat-eating Neanderthal who just left here?
Katie: That Neanderthal doesn’t remind me of Brad.
Reid: You cannot let Channing have this case file. Do you know what that meathead would do?
Bob: Tell me.
Reid: He will run her through every test known to man while she wastes away and memory loss increases because of the bleed around the lesion. I mean, she might have seizure after seizure, but that won’t stop him from waiting and waiting and waiting.
Bob: That would be terrible.
Reid: That’s what he would do. He is not only conservative, he’s a jerk. I’m the only one who’s competent enough to perform the procedure that this patient needs before she forgets how to spell her last name.
Bob: Well, it’s too bad you’re not able to do it.
Reid: Why not?
Bob: Well, you want me to pull some strings with the judge so you can get back to Dallas in the next day or two.
Reid: Just get me the equipment and the right team. I’ll get this lady back on course within a week.
Bob: I suppose that’s possible. But you really want to do this?
Reid: I’ll go download the surgical protocol from my laptop right now. I’ll print it out for you. You know you didn’t trick me, right? I saw through the whole song and dance.
Bob: Whatever you say, Doctor.
Katie: This would be funny if it weren’t so shocking.
Reid: I’m just — yeah, I’m just pitching in.
Katie: Why? ‘Cause you feel guilty about leaving?
Reid: No, I’m incapable of guilt. I just figure I should help out a little bit since I’m going to be sticking around another week or so.
Reid: Really? Just "Whatever"?
Katie: Okay, I’m — happy. Are you happy?
Reid: Yeah, this is me happy.
Katie: I’m always picking up after you. You eat like a 15-year-old boy on a growth spurt. And you put wet towels on your bed, which I will never understand for the life of me.
Reid: But you’ve grown accustomed to my face.
Reid: You don’t know me. What you do know isn’t much. Is this where you pull out a bright light and you shine it in my face?
Katie: You started it. You want me to know you? Tell me what I need to know.
25 February 2010
Lily: I thought you didn’t trust Dr. Oliver.
Luke: As a person, no. But as a doctor, even Bob Hughes admits he’s brilliant.
Reid: Okay. So, Gillian, is it? All right, here’s the deal. I know that Dr. Hughes said he was gonna refer you to one Dr. Channing, but, frankly, you’d be better off seeing a pediatrician than letting that clown anywhere near your brain. So, I told him I’d do it myself, but you can thank me later.
Gillian: Have you done this kind of surgery before?
Reid: No. I’ve been waiting for a case that was so hopeless it paid to give it a shot.
Gillian: And that’s me?
Reid: How cool is that?
Gillian: What if it doesn’t work?
Reid: Then I’m gonna look really bad.
Gillian: What about me?
Reid: Yeah. You’ll probably look a lot worse.
[Knock on door]
Reid: Go away! I’m with a patient!
Luke: I’m sorry to interrupt.
Reid: Turn around, shut the door, and get lost.
Reid: I’m not a forensic pathologist.
Luke: No, but you are the most brilliant neurosurgeon on planet earth.
Reid: You’re asking me for a favor. You might want to cut back on the snarkiness.
Luke: Look, I’m sorry, but you told me that you’re sure this body was not my father’s.
Reid: Not if he could walk, talk, and say goodbye.
Luke: Well, I need you to tell the U.S. attorney that.
Reid: Doesn’t he have his own doctors?
Luke: Well, I guess so, but, apparently, they didn’t see what you saw.
Reid: Big surprise.
Reid: I’m sorry. Forgive me. One minute the authorities think that your father’s a corpse, the next minute they think he’s a killer?
Luke: Well, obviously, I have two different fathers.
Reid: Well, with your mother’s good looks, that’s not a big surprise. Where is that hottie, anyway?
Reid: I thought I made this clear. You don’t tell me what to do.
Luke: But this is really important.
Reid: So are my patients. Besides, you don’t need a doctor. You need a lawyer.
Luke: I can’t believe that you think that I’m arrogant.
Reid: I can’t hear you.
Luke: Because there isn’t a doctor in this entire hospital who could cover you for an hour, and if I lose both of my fathers because of you, well, I guess that’s my problem, because God forbid you think about anyone besides yourself.
Holden: He needs to come down here. He needs to tell the U.S. attorney about this.
Luke: I know. I already told him that.
Lily: He said no?
Luke: He said he was too . Busy.
Lily: That’s insane.
Luke: No, that’s Dr. Oliver.
Reid: Hear that, Channing, you deli slicer? I’m gonna get this lady back on her feet, go back to Dallas. One more prize to throw in your face. So, why am I thinking about some irrelevant Maltese corpse?
Noah: I’m anxious for the surgery.
Reid: I’m anxious to cut.
Noah: When do you think we’ll be able to do that?
Reid: We’ll be able to do that as soon as I’m not surrounded by inconsequential distractions
Noah: When will you know?
Reid: Not soon enough.
Noah: Is that it?
Reid: Is what it?
Noah: Why you’re distracted? The hearing?
Reid: No. Once again, it’s your boyfriend.
Reid: How many boyfriends does one blind guy have?
Noah: Maybe you could just cut him some slack just this once?
Reid: And I would do that because?
Noah: I don’t know if you noticed this when you saw him, but he was probably a little upset.
Reid: With his disposition, it’s difficult to tell.
Noah: His birth father just died.
Reid: Well, that’s open to interpretation.
Reid: As ridiculous and pathetic as this hospital is, I do actually have a job to do here.
Noah: You’re a doctor. Come on. You help people.
Reid: Sick people, not wrongly accused people. What the guy needs is a better lawyer, not a neurosurgeon.
Noah: That is a cop out.
Noah: You’ve asked us both to do things that we didn’t want to do and we still did them. So, now maybe it’s your turn.
Reid: Yeah, but that’s not really how it works.
Noah: If you’re only refusing to get involved now because it’s Luke –
Reid: We’re done here.
Holden: So, why won’t he come down here and tell them?
Luke: Because he’s a selfish, self-absorbed little jerk.
Molly: I’ll make some calls, too. A good neurologist can’t be that hard to find.
Reid: Well, you’d be surprised.
Luke: You came.
Reid: Yeah, I came.
Franklin: I’ll have to show this to my people first.
Reid: Sure. What do I know?
Molly: So, you’re sure about this?
Lily: Does he sound like someone who doesn’t know what he’s talking about?
Reid: The brain’s protected. It’s what keeps you from being a big slab of meat.
Luke: He doesn’t mean you.
Reid: Sure, I do.
Tom: Have you discussed this with my father?
Reid: And he would be?
Tom: Dr. Bob Hughes.
Reid: Him? Why would I talk to him?
Tom: It would be helpful if he confirmed your analysis.
Reid: I’ve forgotten more neuroscience than he ever knew. But sure. Why not? If you think it’ll help. I’ve already wasted most of my afternoon on this.
Tom: Charming guy.
Luke: I know, but he is one of the best.
Luke: Thank you so much for coming down here, Dr. Oliver. It means a lot to my family and to me. I owe you.
Reid: I’m glad you said that, ’cause I know exactly how you’re gonna pay me back.
Luke: You want me to testify for you?
Reid: Didn’t I just stand up for your father in there?
Luke: You didn’t agree to testify.
Reid: Oh, don’t get cute. I just got your father out of a jam, and I want you to do the same thing for me.
Reid: I want you to tell the judge at my hearing that I didn’t steal your car, that I, in fact, borrowed it from you.
Luke: So you want me to lie.
Reid: No. I want you to repay a favor.
Luke: You want me to commit perjury so you can fly back to Texas and not operate on Noah?
Reid: Oh, get over yourself. Noah’s my patient now, okay? I don’t bail out on a fight. Wherever I am, Noah’s gonna get his eyesight back, all right?
Luke: You did a good thing today.
Reid: Just save it. Just make sure that when the time comes, you do the right thing for me.
Luke: You’re still here.
Reid: I told you I never give up on a fight.
Reid: Looks like she nailed you, big boy.
Reid: Well, like you said, you owe me. Trust me, I will collect. One question. If your father isn’t the poor bastard they fished out of the ocean, where the hell is he?
Luke: I wish I knew.
1 March 2010
Katie: Aw. Whenever you sing to Jacob, he always falls asleep with that smile on his face.
Reid: It’s gas.
Katie: He’s going to miss your Justin Timberlake impressions. So will I.
Reid: [Laughs] I’m sure.
Katie: And your sloppy sandwiches and your overflowing laundry basket.
Katie: So, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get back to Dallas?
Reid: Get back to work.
Katie: You know, you could have a lot of new patients here.
Reid: You wouldn’t be so anxious for me to stay if you actually had a life.
Katie: I told Henry no, and I meant it.
Reid: Five words — "Jacob could go to Harvard." Think about it.
Henry: Uh, right. Um, where’s Jacob? Didn’t — you didn’t leave the kid with that — that Dr. Do Harm, did you?
Katie: No, he’s with Nancy. Um, and don’t insult Reid.
Katie: Oh, yes, I’m sure she was. Right, so all this, and you have the nerve to look down your nose at someone like Reid?
Henry: Well, yeah, I am sorry that we can’t all make the lame to see and the blind to walk like the great Dr. Oliver. But I’m telling you, my opinion, my original opinion, I’m sticking with it. I don’t trust the guy. And the fact that he’s living in your house –
Katie: I wanted to let you know that I have been reconsidering your offer about the money.
Henry: Just like that?
Katie: Reid talked me into it.
Henry: Uh, really? Um, what’s in it for him?
Katie: Nothing! Stop criticizing him, Henry. He is my friend.
Henry: A better friend than I am?
Henry: Doc! I need a doctor here for my damaged digits! They’re throbbing like a — oh, no, no. Not — not you. Come on. Anyone but you.
Reid: Can we keep the yelling to a minimum? It scares the bleeding people.
Henry: I want a doctor! I want another doctor. I want a likable doctor. I want an ethical doctor.
Reid: We’re all out of those. It’s either me or an intern who can’t pin on his own name tag.
Henry: Fine. I’ll take my chances with the intern. The last time I let you near me, you had me quarantined for tuberculosis.
Reid: Come on. You’re a better man for it.
Reid: Smashed finger. Ooh! How did that happen?
Henry: Listen, I’m not kidding around, all right? I want that intern in here. Give me that intern. Get him in here!
Reid: That embarrassing, huh? Let’s see the hand.
Reid: Would you rather go to the end of the line, behind all the really sick people?
Henry: Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
Reid: I’m not even touching you.
Henry: Yeah, you were thinking about touching it.
Reid: Can you move it?
Reid: Well, no bones sticking out. Here’s the real test. Can you do this?
Henry: What, are you kidding me?
Reid: Yeah, I am. I’m kidding you, Hank.
Henry: What? And I’m just — I’m just supposed to take your word on that?
Reid: Well, if you want a second opinion, there will be a shift change in, ooh, about 6 1/2 hours.
Henry: Are you going to give me anything for the pain?
Reid: Breathe, Hank. It hurts a lot less that way.
Henry: You’re a quack. You know that?
Reid: This pitiful little situation you have going on with Katie.
Henry: What, what, what? What situation?
Reid: Oh, come on. It’s so obvious that — that you’re in love with her. And yet you keep finding ways of screwing it up.
Henry: No. I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Henry: Katie is my friend. That is all she is. And that is why I’m trying to warn her about you.
Reid: Relax. If my hearing goes well tomorrow, I’ll be out of here before you can sober up and figure out another way not to go after her.
Henry: You mean you might actually win? You might leave here permanently?
Reid: Why does it matter to you?
Henry: Because you’re a horrible human being, and — and you don’t deserve Katie! That’s why.
Reid: Come on, Hank. You’re just jealous. Believe me, I get it. But truth is, even if I move out, you still don’t stand a chance in hell of taking my place.
Henry: Why, why? You’re irreplaceable?
Reid: No. I know you. You’re never going to make a move, ’cause deep down in that shallow little soul of yours, you know that you’re not good enough for Katie.
Henry: And you are?
Reid: If you disagree, call her. Prove me wrong.
Reid: Why are you making me a sandwich?
Katie: Because tonight might be our last night as roommates, and I wanted to do something nice for you. And maybe it’s a little selfish, but I was kind of hoping maybe that the hearing might tank so you’d have to stay.
Reid: Yeah, I’ll miss you and the kid, too. Any mustard?
Katie: Try to finish that before I get back. It looks disgusting.
Reid: You’re blowing it, Hank.
3 March 2010
Noah: Hey. Luke. It is you, right, Luke?
Luke: How did you know?
Noah: Well, I guess it’s true what they say. When one sense goes, the others get stronger. Too much aftershave. [Sniffs] Busted.
Reid: This should be brief and painless.
Katie: As long as you don’t blow it.
Reid: How am I gonna blow it?
Katie: By opening your mouth.
Katie: A word to the wise. Be nice to the judge, humble, contrite, courteous.
Reid: You lost me at humble.
Katie: See? That’s what I’m talking about. If you act like a bonehead in there, you could end up going to jail.
Reid: The worst that’ll happen is that they force me to stay and be Dr. Hughes’ whipping boy for the next decade, which I’m sure would make you very happy.
Katie: If it would force you to stay in Oakdale as my roommate, it might.
Reid: You just can’t resist me, can you?
Katie: See, that’s exactly the attitude I’m talking about.
Katie: Jacob and I will miss you, though.
Reid: Dallas is just a plane ride away. All right. Go get a front-row seat. I’m gonna go practice being humble in the mirror.
Katie: Practice hard.
Katie: Henry, what are you doing here?
Henry: I’m making sure that menace to society and to me gets what he deserves.
Katie: What are you doing here, Henry? You have nothing to do with this case.
Henry: Oh, I think it has everything to do with me. He is a danger to the public, and I am part of the public. Ergo.
Katie: Stop it. You’ve had it in for Reid since the first day you met him, and I have no idea why.
Henry: He’s a slob.
Katie: So what? You don’t live with him.
Henry: He’s full of himself.
Katie: Not a crime.
Henry: He had me quarantined for tuberculosis.
Katie: A misdiagnosis.
Henry: Oh, really? I didn’t think the great doctor made those.
Henry: He doesn’t even deserve to practice medicine. Look what he did to me.
Katie: He broke your finger?
Henry: No. It’s a sprain.
Katie: So, how did it happen?
Henry: I — I — I slammed it in a door. That’s not the point. Look at this humiliating splint that he’s made me wear. I’ve been slapped by three old ladies today who thought I was being rude.
Katie: You have no idea how ridiculous you are right now.
Henry: He should be ridden out of town on the rail.
Katie: All you have to do is keep your mouth shut, let the trial go on, and you’ll get your wish. Maybe not on the rails but in a first-class seat on the first plane out of here to Dallas.
Katie: He can’t wait to get back to his practice. Why would he lie?
Henry: That’s what guys like him do. It’s pathological.
Katie: I love how in your own way you think that you’re protecting me, but you’re not.
Henry: Sweetie, he’s — he’s trouble, okay, and I don’t think he’s gonna leave, even if he’s acquitted.
Katie: Henry, what are you gonna do?
Henry: Whatever has to be done.
Kim: You sound like you had a bowl of confidence for breakfast.
Reid: That I did, that I did, with a little dose of victory on top.
Bob: Well, remember, your fate is not in our hands. It’s in the judge’s hands, and they tend to uphold the law, no matter how brilliant the accused may be.
Kim: Even brilliant neurosurgeons.
Reid: I suppose it doesn’t matter to you both that I saved both of your lives during that whole wedding-hostage fiasco. You’d still like to see me behind bars. Fine, okay. All right. Do what you want. I would rather be in jail than continue to be forced to work at your pathetic little excuse of a hospital.
Kim: So, what was all of that about?
Bob: Oh, I was just having some fun. I love to see him squirm.
Bob: It is well known that he is one of the most highly thought of surgeons in his field. I’m not about to say anything that would contradict that. He is a fine physician. It’s a privilege to have him at my hospital, and it was an honor to watch him work. But I have to admit that he can be obnoxious and overbearing.
Henry: And criminal.
Bob: Well, it’s not a crime to be unlikable.
Henry: Well, it should be.
Bob: Your honor, Dr. Oliver is a dedicated physician, and underneath that gruff exterior, he is a profoundly caring one, too. He took a bad situation for him and made it workable, and I hope that you will take that into account.
Reid: I made a career studying the brain. I still don’t understand human nature.
Katie: It’s not always about the brain. Sometimes it comes from the heart.
Noah: You go easy on Dr. Oliver because, you know, as independent as I might get, I’d still rather have my sight back.
Luke: You and me both.
Noah: So, try and keep my last best hope out of jail, okay?
Luke: I swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. And the truth is, your honor, I can’t stand Dr. Reid Oliver.
Henry: Finally, a witness with some sense.
Luke: But it’s also the truth that I bullied him. I — I forced him to come to Oakdale. He had a lot of patients back in Dallas who really, really needed him, but I tricked him into coming here because somebody that I care very much about needed him, as well, and quite frankly, he’s the best there is.
Henry: Oh, please.
Luke: When Dr. Oliver found out what I did, he was upset, and I can’t blame him. He wanted to get back to Dallas to his patients, his practice.
Henry: His golf game.
Henry: Your honor, if you let this man go freely, it will be a perversion of justice. He is a dangerous kidnapper.
Reid: Oh, for the love of Pete.
Katie: Henry, sit down.
Henry: No. I will not be silenced. He’s a menace to everyone in this courtroom. He’s a menace to everyone in Oakdale.
Reid: Well, then keep your mouth shut so I can get back to Dallas.
Henry: Your honor, I demand to be heard. Thank you. This man, this person who calls himself a doctor, without reason and for nothing more than personal grievances, held me unlawfully in quarantine after falsely diagnosing me with T.B. and the things they did to me in there, it’s unspeakable.
Reid: Mr. Coleman was quarantined as a precaution. He displayed signs of the infection. We couldn’t risk a serious infection being spread to the other patients, and as for the unspeakable things that were done to him, it amounted to nothing more than blood being drawn.
Henry: I showed no signs of tuberculosis, but I was held against my will for hours simply because I tried to convince this guy to move out of my friend, Katie Snyder’s, home.
Katie: Don’t drag me into this.
Judge: Bob, you want to straighten this out for me?
Bob: Mr. Coleman is exaggerating, your honor, and quite a bit, I might add.
Judge: Case dismissed.
Henry: What a travesty. I wouldn’t be surprised if you paid the judge off.
Reid: You want to know the best thing about leaving this town, Hank? Never seeing you again. And don’t bother waving good-bye. I wouldn’t want you to hurt your finger.
Bob: What would it take to get you to change your mind?
Reid: About what? Leaving town?
Bob: I respect you a lot more than I dislike you. We could certainly use you at the hospital.
Reid: Oh, you’re being generous, calling that place a hospital.
Bob: We do the best we can. But you haven’t answered my question. What would it — what would it take to keep you here?
Reid: How about a state-of-the-art neurosurgery unit, ridiculously outrageous salary, and a title with the word "Genius" in it. How’s that grab you?
Bob: You drive a hard bargain.
Reid: That I do. Good luck, Dr. Hughes. I wish I could say it’s been a pleasure.
Henry: Oh, my God. That guy is so arrogant.
Bob: Well, sometimes people are good enough that they can get away with that. You know, I wish I could offer him what he needs.
Bob: I don’t have the kind of money at the hospital to give him the kind of surgical unit that he needs, and that’s too bad.
Katie: What if I said I might know where you could get that money?
Henry: What? That’s a lot of money, Bubbles. What are you ta– no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not — no. Do not even think about — not me. No!
Katie: Excuse me. Henry, come back here!
Henry: You can follow me from here to Chicago, Katie. It won’t matter. There is no way in hell that I’m funding some new neurological unit just to keep that lowlife, good for nothing, Reid Oliver here in town.
Katie: You don’t want the money.
Henry: No, but I don’t want to keep Dr. Jekyll around either.
Katie: Forget about Reid! Think about unburdening yourself of that Stenbeck money. The closure that you claim to want is just a signature away.
Henry: Stop, stop. You are not getting under my skin. Not this time. It won’t work.
Katie: This is just the kind of beautiful gesture that Vienna would want.
Henry: You’re playing the Vienna card? That is a low blow, Katie! That’s a low blow!
Henry: Reid put this idea in your head, didn’t he?
Katie: You’re really ticking me off. I can’t believe this. If you won’t even consider doing this, you are not the friend I thought you were.
Henry: Now, that sounds suspiciously like blackmail. I wonder where you picked that idea up from.
Katie: This has nothing to do with Reid.
Reid: Listen, I know, given how much you hate me, that it wasn’t easy for you to come to my defense today, but your testimony got my case thrown out. I appreciate it.
Luke: Well, I did what I had to do for Noah. Couldn’t have you going to jail. He needs you too much.
Reid: Can we try this again? Thank you. Promise me something. Never, ever try to bring me back to this God-forsaken town.
Bob: On behalf of the staff of Memorial hospital, we wish you the best of luck.
Katie: Thanks. I think I’m gonna need it.
Kim: You know, I didn’t think Henry had any interest in keeping the Stenbeck fortune.
Katie: Well, sometimes what Henry says and what Henry does are two completely different things.
Luke: You’re going to Dallas? Dr. Oliver is gonna operate on you there?
Noah: The guy might be able to give me my sight back. What difference does it make if he does it here or in Texas?
Luke: Well, the difference is that I’m here! Your life is here. This is your home.
Noah: I’m not moving there permanently. It’s just until I finish with the treatments. What else was I gonna do? Was I gonna say no?
Luke: I can’t believe you played me. I testified for him, and he turns around and pulls a stunt like this.
11 March 2010
Reid: I told you, I’m the best.
Bob: I know, over and over again.
Bob: You know, most neurosurgeons wouldn’t attempt this procedure the first time on their own.
Reid: Well, most neurosurgeons ought to be sliced into salami someplace.
Bob: You know, I’m trying to give you a compliment and I can’t compete with your ego.
Bob: I have to admit that you’ve enhanced the prestige of this hospital by doing that procedure here.
Reid: Well, I’m counting on you to milk it for all it’s worth.
Kim: He’s been a nonstop headache since he got here.
Bob: Yes, he has. And for some reason which I can’t explain, I actually might miss him.
Reid: Hey, Richie Rich, what are you doing here? You fixing a ticket, bribing a judge?
Luke: My father is going to prison.
Reid: Good dad or bad dad?
Bob: In his field, he’s the best I’ve ever seen.
Kim: Well, he’s also an arrogant egomaniac, and he’s a constant source or aggravation.
Luke: I know that you don’t care, but Damian is my father, and I’ll probably never see him again.
Reid: Lucky you have a spare.
Luke: God, you’re such — do you ever think about the effect that you have on people?
Reid: What? You mean, like, saving their lives?
Luke: I know that you are the most amazing surgeon that has ever walked the face of this earth, but as a human being, I think you’re way down there, like at rock bottom.
Reid: It sounds to me like it’s more important to you to keep him around here so he can hold your hand during your little family crisis.
Luke: It’s not!
Reid: Then act like it. Stop acting like a spoiled little brat who’s not getting his way, and when you kiss him goodbye, make sure it’s with a smile.
Katie: Oh, Reid! Hey! I’m so glad you’re home. Dr. Chris Hughes, meet my roommate, Dr. Reid Oliver.
Reid: Hughes, as in Bob Hughes?
Katie: Yeah. He’s Bob and Kim’s son.
Reid: Lucky you.
Chris: You don’t remember me, do you?
Reid: Should I?
Chris: I remember you.
Reid: I get this all the time.
Katie: ‘Cause you’re such a celebrity.
Reid: Burden I have to bear.
Chris: My dad hired you?
Reid: Yeah. Even he’s alert enough to notice the best doctor that he has.
Chris: Shannon Fellowship. Remember that?
Reid: I sure do. I won it.
Chris: No, you stole it.
Reid: First of all, I was up against a woman from Stanford. Now, I’m assuming that wasn’t you.
Reid: You know, I’m gonna come back when Doogie Hughes here is gone.
Chris: [Laughs sarcastically] Go to hell.
Reid: Some people have a problem with me. Not a lot I can do about it.
Katie: Some people? Try everyone who knows you, except me, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the one who’s wrong.
Noah: Look, I know you think he’s only in it for himself.
Luke: Oh. You really think that all he wants to do is help you.
Noah: Does it matter? I mean, if the guy can get me to see again, he can be the biggest jerk in the world. It won’t matter to me.
Luke: He already is.
Henry: Shouldn’t you be at the hospital torturing patients?
Reid: Well, I figured if I hung out around here long enough, you’d show up and I could torture you, Hank.
Henry: Eh. I like that guy less and less every day.
Henry: I came here to tell you that it’s over.
Katie: What is?
Henry: You and me.
Reid: I never knew the two of you got started.
Henry: Okay. I will spell it out for you. I’m not gonna interfere with your life anymore. If you want to make Dr. Nightmare over there your next big mistake, that is your business, not mine.
Katie: Henry, he is my roommate. That’s all.
Henry: Bubbles, I know you better than you know your own self. You are lonely, you’re vulnerable, you’re sad right now. It’s only a matter of time before you fall for him.
Katie: Nope, you’re wrong.
Henry: You love being in love, usually with the wrong guy.
Chris: [Laughs] Sorry. He does have a point, though.
Katie: Chris, not helping.
Chris: So, who is this wrong guy that Katie is madly in love with?
Katie: He thinks it’s Reid?
Henry: No, no, no, no! Chris, don’t laugh. That’s not funny. You’ve not been here to see what’s going on.
Chris: No, no, no, no, but you are definitely right about one thing. He is the wrong guy for Katie.
Katie: Chris doesn’t like him either.
Henry: No one likes him! You’re the only one that likes him!
Chris: Yeah, but it has nothing to do with that. Do you want to tell him?
Reid: I’m the wrong guy for Katie.
Henry: Really? Now, how could that be? I thought you were perfect!
Reid: I am. I also happen to be gay.
Henry: You’re gay?
Reid: That’s right.
Henry: How do you know this?
Reid: Are you an idiot?
Henry: I’m not gonna answer that question.
Reid: Oh, golly. That just opens us up to hours of speculation, doesn’t it?
Chris: If I outed you, I’m really sorry.
Reid: Sure, you are. Don’t worry. You didn’t.
Henry: How can you not see that he’s been leading you on? Please, please. Tell her that you have not hidden the fact that you’re gay so that you can get her to get me to use my inheritance to build your little personal surgery palace at memorial?
Reid: No problem. I didn’t hide the fact that I’m gay.
Henry: Then why didn’t she know?
Katie: I did.
Henry: You did?
Henry: You knew?
Katie: Of course I knew. We’ve been living together for months.
Henry: Well, why didn’t you tell me?
Katie: Why would I? It’s not any of your business.
Henry: Because. I don’t know.
Reid: Well said. As much as I’d like to stick around and help you explain the birds and the bees to Henry, I have to get to the hospital. Later.
Henry: When did you find out?
Katie: He told me right after he moved in.
Henry: What? I can’t believe you held that from me this whole time!
Katie: Well, it’s not like I go around telling people that I know you’re straight.
Henry: Yeah, well, you don’t have to, because everybody knows me.
Katie: Everybody also knows that you spent part of last year wearing a dress.
Henry: That’s not the point!
Noah: Dr. Oliver should be here in a few minutes.
Luke: And I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to see.
Chris: I do have one question for you, though. Why the hell would you hire a person like Reid Oliver?
Reid: Oh, okay. All right. I’m ready this time.
Luke: Look, I’m sorry about that. I lost my temper. I shouldn’t have done it. It had nothing to do with you.
Reid: Good to know.
Reid: Hey, listen, I know the guy did a lot of bad things and probably hurt a lot of people, but, Damian, he’s still your father.
Luke: That’s nice of you to say.
Reid: Yeah, it happens some times, as much as I try to prevent it.
Luke: Well, the truth is I gave him so many chances. When he first found out I was gay, he tried to fix me. I forgave him for that.
Reid: It must have been tough having your father want to change you.
Luke: Well, he finally accepted me, so I gave him another chance.
Reid: It makes you wonder if the first chance was real.
Luke: Yeah, it does.
Luke: I don’t know why I’m talking to you about this.
Reid: Well, like I said, sometimes I’m a good guy in spite of myself.
Luke: Well, do you think you could save some of that kindness for Noah?
Reid: Why? Does he need it?
Luke: He’s going away to some strange city with you. He’s still trying to cope with being blind. I think he could use a support network.
Reid: Yeah. You want maybe I should find him a play group?
Luke: Dr. Oliver, please, can you just not be a jerk for like two more minutes.
Reid: Look, I’m his doctor. I’m not his babysitter.
Luke: Can you do me one favor? If I come down to help him, will you encourage him to let me?
Reid: Maybe you need to get a life, too?
Luke: You don’t get it. Noah is my life. He’s the love of my life. And you think that I’m gonna forget about him? Well, I’m not. It’s called being in love, Dr. Oliver. You should try it.
Bob: You went to medical school with him?
Chris: Well, we were there at the same time, but I’m sure Reid thought that the classes were there for his benefit alone.
Bob: Well, I’m sorry to say that his behavior hasn’t improved that much, but he is one of the greatest neurosurgeons in the world.
Chris: Dad. Yes, yes. I’m sure he tells you that every day.
Bob: As a matter of fact, he does.
Luke: You know, I don’t get you. You go out of your way to get Noah the treatment he needs, housing, a job, and then you pretend like you don’t care what happens to him.
Reid: He’s just a big journal article waiting to happen.
Luke: That is bull. Well, I’m beginning to think that your whole bedside manner’s just an act.
Reid: Yeah. I’m really a warm, fuzzy guy. Look, if you come down to Dallas to visit him, just do me a favor. Make sure I don’t run into you so I can stay focused on returning his sight.
Luke: You mean I get in your way?
Reid: I don’t know. Just being you seems to do it. I need to go and see Noah.
Luke: See you in Dallas.
Reid: Hope not.
12 March 2010
Reid: I can’t get baby pictures in the mail. It’s bad for my image.
Reid: So long, sport. Bad luck having to grow up in this town. But you sure did ace it the mom department, you know that?
Reid: I got you something too. I didn’t wrap it, though.
Katie: Oh! A business card! You shouldn’t have!
Reid: That’s what I’m thinkin’.
Reid: Some people deserve kindness; others are like you.
Luke: Hey! I’m talking to you.
Reid: And yet I’m not listening.
Luke: I can let you borrow my private plane. That way you and Noah can get to Dallas whenever you like.
Reid: As tempting as the offer is, it has one very large drawback.
Luke: What’s that?
Reid: It comes from you.
Reid: Seriously? Is there no place in this town that I can go to avoid you?
Reid: Noah can get to Dallas however he wants to; I’m gonna fly commercial.
Luke: Why? Because I’M offering this to you? Do you have any idea how childish that sounds?
Reid: Yup. But it’s not as ridiculous as you chasing me all over town because I whining that I’m not gonna play with your toy.
Reid: Oh my god, you’re sitting down?
Reid: I’m unique.
Reid: You think I’m homophobic. That’s hysterical.
Luke: Why don’t you let me in on the joke, doctor? What, is your best friend gay? Or your mom? Or your dad? Who?
Reid: Me, Mr. Snyder. I’m gay.
Luke: You’re messing with me. You’re not gay!
Reid: You’re requiring proof? How would that work exactly?
Reid: Mr. Snyder, I’ve known that I was gay since I was nine years old. I can assure you that in all that time, I’ve never once hidden, apologized for, or been ashamed of who I am.
Luke: You never said anything to Noah or me.
Reid: Why WOULD I?
Luke: Because it could have helped.
Reid: What, so that we could share the secret handshake?
Luke: It’s called relating, Dr Oliver. You meet someone; you learn things about them. You find what you have in common and then you get along better.
Reid: So you’re telling me that if I had told you that I’m a Pisces yet ironically allergic to fish, you and I would have bonded?
Reid: Here’s the thing Mr. Snyder – I don’t want to bond with you. And unlike you, I don’t feel obligated to spill my guts all over whoever happens to be within range.
Katie: What do you want more than anything?
Reid: To wake up and discover that the last few months have been one tragic nightmare.
16 March 2010
Katie: Hello, Vienna. This is Dr. Oliver.
Vienna: Yes, of course, the brilliant surgeon who is going to run the new wing my Henry’s building.
Reid: You’re, um — you’re with him?
Reid: So you’re really gonna do this?
Vienna: Of course he is.
Reid: I’d like to hear Hank say it.
Henry: Yes, I am. Satisfied?
Katie: Actually, we came for the check.
Henry: The what? You don’t trust me?
Reid: Any reason we should?
Vienna: want the whole world to know how amazing my Henry is. Mm!
Reid: He is amazing. Let’s get his amazing signature on that amazing check.
Chris: I thought you were headed back to Texas.
Reid: Change of plans, Dougie Hughes.
Katie: I told you Henry would come through with the money.
Bob: This is just terrific. Thank you. And I think it’s great that you’re gonna stay on and — and run the new research project.
Reid: When did I agree to that?
Reid: I have a few reservations.
Chris: Let me guess, you want the new wing named after you, or maybe just the hospital.
Bob: Well, I’ll — I’ll certainly consider your requests when we draw up the contract.
Reid: No, they’re not requests.
Bob: Oh. Well, then, if you can’t be satisfied, I guess — you know, Dr. Channing would love to come in and run this research unit.
Bob: Well, I mean, he keeps calling me saying he wants to get out of Chicago and, uh, move to someplace quiet.
Reid: No, no, no, I’m not letting that deli slicer within 50 miles of my facility.
Bob: That wouldn’t be up to you if we can’t come to an agreement.
Reid: All right. Draw something up. I’ll take a look at it.
Reid: Looks like I’m gonna be eating second-rate sushi a lot longer than I thought.
Bob: Welcome to Oakdale, Dr. Oliver.
Reid: Ah, trotting me out there in front of the cameras before I’ve signed on the dotted line? You must be pretty confident that I’m gonna be getting everything I want out of this.
Chris: You always do.
Reid: Oh, are you still hung up on that little fellowship that you lost out on to me?
Bob: You have a problem with Dr. Oliver being at the hospital?
Chris: Dad, if you want this guy around, I will try very hard to get along with him.
Chris: Uh, like I said, Dad, I will work with the guy, but I’m not ready to bask in his glory just yet.
Chris: Some of us have work to do, okay?
Katie: You’re not just avoiding Reid?
Chris: I have no problem with Reid, okay?
Chris: I’m just not ready to join the hallelujah chorus.
Noah: Dr. Oliver is staying. He just called me.
Alison: I thought he couldn’t wait to get out of Oakdale.
Noah: They are building him his own neurology wing here at Memorial.
Alison: Wow. Okay, that’s a pretty convincing reason to stay.
Reid: Bad day?
Luke: Like you care.
Reid: No, what happened? Did your butler misplace your silver spoon?
17 March 2010
Luke: Wy did that guy say you murdered his daughter?
Reid: Why do you think? Oh, that’s right. You don’t think.
Reid: Are we suddenly not speaking the same language? I said it was none of your business.
Luke: You know, you have a real problem with answering to people, don’t you? I mean, you get really defensive when your back is to the wall.
Reid: It’s not to the wall. It’s to you.
Nurse: You look like you’re in pain.
Reid: I said I’m fine! Just go pretend to do your job somewhere else.
Reid: May I come in? Nice place. It’s not as big as I thought it would be.
Luke: Yeah, I bet you thought that I have someone open my door for me.
Reid: I want you to forget what you saw.
Luke: Well, not to sound like you, but Noah’s the blind guy, not me.
Reid: I appreciate the recognition. Yes, I am a great doctor. But, you know, that’s never really been a secret.
Luke: Well, you certainly don’t believe in modesty.
Reid: I think humility is overrated. So is sympathy.
Reid: Well, since you’ve agreed to keep quiet about what happened this afternoon, I can tell you that you don’t have to spend the rest of the day worrying that I’m gonna accidentally kill your boyfriend when I crack open his skull.
Luke: Great. And you know what? Thank you. Thank you for that mental image. It’s lovely.
Reid: I’ve been pushed around enough for one day, Mr. Snyder. I would advise you to take one very big step back.
25 March 2010
Luke: You want to know what’s ironic? This might be our one shot, Noah getting his sight back, and it all depends on a doctor who hates my guts.
Bob: You’re allowed to sit down and have breakfast.
Reid: Yeah, maybe when I’m 600 years old like you.
Bob: Well, I’m a little younger than I look.
Reid: I need millions of dollars for this facility.
Katie: Know anyone with that kind of money?
Reid: Actually, I do.
Reid: I’m glad I found you.
Reid: So, how’s it going?
Luke: How’s what going?
Reid: You know, life.
Reid: How’s the boyfriend?
Luke: He’s an ex boyfriend. And I think you’d know better than I would. You see him every day.
Reid: Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, he’s good, in case you were wondering.
Luke: What is wrong with you?
Reid: Nothing. I’m just being friendly.
Luke: Why? You don’t do friendly.
Reid: There’s no reason why we can’t get along.
Luke: Seriously? The world’s greatest doctor and Richie Rich?
Reid: Yeah, sorry about that. Don’t listen — I was just being —
Luke: What, friendly?
Luke: Well, you can stop, because it really doesn’t suit you. You obviously want something, so why don’t you just ask me, I’ll say no, and then you can go back to being yourself.
Reid: If you ever need somebody to talk to —
Luke: Okay, okay, okay, can you just stop and tell me what you want?
Luke: You need more money.
Reid: Yeah, and you’re loaded.
Luke: And you’re insane.
Luke: So after all this time throwing the fact that I have money in my face, you’re sitting here asking for a handout?
Reid: The money’s not for me.
Luke: Oh, that’s bull.
Luke: And of course, it’s so like you to go about this without even acknowledging what happened the other day.
Reid: Nothing happened between us the other day.
Reid: Look, either you’re gonna help me or you’re not.
Luke: Amazing, amazing. So you can come and ask me for thousands —
Luke: Millions —
Bob: You know, there’s a lot of ways to raise money.
Reid: I tried that.
Bob: Well, hopefully you didn’t try to rob a bank.
Reid: I want to save lives that can’t be saved anywhere else. That’s all. If I have to have a big ego to accomplish that, so be it.
Bob: There are other things in life.
Reid: Like what?
Bob: Like friends and family and finding a home.
Reid: Sounds time-consuming.
Bob: You know, maybe some day, somebody will come along and change your mind about that.
Reid: Doogie Hughes, how do you stop this home and family sermon?
Chris: You don’t.
Bob: You know, as long as you’re here, I’m gonna do what I can to help you with your winning personality.
Reid: Wish I had known that before I signed the contract.
Luke: I spoke to the executive director of my foundation. We’re going to donate the money to the Snyder Pavilion.
Reid: How much?
Luke: You’re welcome.
Reid: Thank you. That’s really great of you.
Luke: Wow! You almost sound like you mean that.
Luke: There’s gonna be a few conditions.
Luke: First, Noah can’t find out that I’m the one that donated the money. I don’t want him thinking that I’m trying to buy my way back into his life.
Reid: Are you?
Luke: And second, I want a seat on the board. I want to be part of the decision-making process.
Reid: Yeah, I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Luke: These are conditions, Dr. Oliver. They’re not requests.
Reid: You and me working together? You don’t see how that could be a problem?
Luke: Well, I guess you’re gonna have to work really hard to make sure that it isn’t.
29 March 2010
Luke: Dr. Oliver, where’s your suit and tie?
Reid: Call me old-fashioned, but I like to operate without them. You know, saves on dry cleaning.
Reid: Let the architect wear the tie. He’s the one who has to impress me.
Luke: I’m going with you.
Reid: Oh, of course. You know, I know how concerned you are about the placement of the stereotaxis system. I mean, tell me, do you prefer the gamma knife or the cyber knife?
Luke: Mm — I’ll let you know.
Reid: I can’t wait.
Luke: Look, this meeting is about the entire layout for the new wing, which you couldn’t afford without my money.
Reid: Good thing you reminded me.
Luke: Hey, let’s not forget, you’re the one who asked me to be a part of this, not the other way around. So, I’ve done my research. I’ve talked to a few neurosurgeons.
Reid: Like who?
Luke: Well, I’m sure they’re inferior to you. But they were civil, so that’s an improvement.
Reid: "Civil" doesn’t do anybody any good in the O.R.
Luke: Well, this meeting isn’t in the O.R., so you’re stuck with me.
Reid: A lounge is a waste of valuable space, and we need every inch. Look, if we do this right, we could have the number-one neuro facility in the Midwest. Save the stuffed animals and the video games for the Peds department.
Luke: Why don’t you get it? If you want this to be a state-of-the-art facility, you need to treat the whole patient, and that includes their support team. It’s just basic humanity.
Reid: Well, I’m not giving up lab space so we can provide neck massages and a kissing booth.
[Elevator button clicking]
Luke: And we’re stuck. Fabulous.
Reid: Okay, hello! Hey! We’re stuck in here!
Luke: You should calm down. I’m sure they know about it.
Reid: Yeah, if I was in Dallas, I’d be sure they knew about it. Here in Oakdale — [Reid laughs]
Reid: Why do you know all this?
Luke: My mom’s part owner of the hotel.
Reid: I should have known. Is there any bit of this town that isn’t part of your family’s portfolio?
Luke: You know what? I’m not gonna apologize for the fact that my family has money. And you need to remember that it’s that same money that’s getting this hospital wing off the ground.
Reid: As if you’d let me forget.
Reid: I can’t believe this is happening to me. Hey! Hey, can anybody hear us? There are two people stuck in this elevator! Is anybody out there? God, I knew this town was cursed. Hey, security!
Luke: Well, it’s like you said. The architect works for us. He’ll wait.
Reid: We’d be there by now if you hadn’t started going into all your kumbaya suggestions.
Luke: Wow. You are seriously claustrophobic.
Reid: No, I don’t — I don’t, uh, like tight spaces.
Luke: And here I thought you were invincible. Are you scared of spiders, too? [Luke laughs] Okay. Wow, wow. Don’t worry. I wouldn’t dare of bugging you out. I mean, imagine if this entire elevator started shaking, and then we crashed to the bottom, and then we were crushed by these four walls closing in on us!
Luke: Wow. For someone with nerves of steel, that was pretty extreme.
Reid: You — you want me to admit that I’m human? Would that make your day, Mr. Snyder?
Luke: It’d be a start.
Reid: This is gonna be great — water-cooler material back at the foundation, huh? Evil neurosurgeon who cracks up in confined spaces.
Luke: Why would I tell anyone that?
Luke: All right, um, Dr. Oliver, you — you need to focus. Um, think about some place that you like, some place that makes you feel safe.
Reid: Where did you pick up this load of crap? Magazines at your dentist office?
Reid: You know, it’s just bogus pop psychology.
Luke: Well, do you have anything better to do, like put your fists through the wall and ruin your career forever?
Reid: Yeah, not to mention ruin your mom’s elevator.
Luke: Aw, don’t worry. You’d get the bill. You know how stingy we rich people are.
Reid: Okay, okay. I — I have a place.
Luke: Okay, well, what is it? Doctor, what is the place you’re thinking of?
Reid: It’s the brain.
Reid: Well, if I told you it was this green meadow with tadpoles and dancing cows, you’d know I was lying.
Reid: Each one’s different. They’re all amazing, though. Has this tangled mass of gray spaghetti. It’s totally alien. It’s not much to look at to the naked eye, but it makes us walk and talk, think, remember, smell, love. It produced the Sistine chapel and chocolate, theory of relativity, "Godfather" parts 1 and 2. Not so sure about 3.
Luke: Dr. Oliver, this is Dusty’s fiancée, Janet Snyder.
Luke: The shooting victim.
Janet: Please, Dr. Oliver, you have to save Dusty. He’s a great man, and he has a lot to live for.
Reid: Yeah, okay. I don’t care who he is. He could be a concert pianist or a serial killer, I’d still do my job. Excuse me.
Carly: Uh, some bedside manner.
Luke: He’s like that with everyone.
Luke: So now that we’ve broken up, I can finally impress you.
Noah: Yeah, better late than never.
Luke: Ah, very funny.
Noah: No, what really impresses me is that you and Dr. Oliver were finally able to get along.
Reid: Quick and dirty, just the way I like it.
Reid: Well, he’s gonna have a nasty scar from the entry wound, but I got the bullet fragment out, stopped the bleeding. Mr. Donovan is gonna die eventually, but not today.
Luke: I can’t believe you. You saved Dusty’s life, and you’re acting like it’s just another day at the office.
Reid: It’s what I do.
Luke: Yeah, well, I’ve never seen you be modest.
Reid: I’m not. Look, I’m the best. But, you know, even when I do everything right, sometimes it doesn’t work out. This time, it just happened to work out.
Luke: Ah, so you’re lucky.
Reid: No, I wouldn’t go that far.
Reid: Look, I never got a chance to thank you for earlier —
Luke: Forget it.
Reid: No, yeah, I intend to forget it.
1 April 2010
Reid: We need to talk.
Bob: Dr. Oliver, I’m having lunch with my wife.
Reid: Yeah, lunch can wait. This is really important.
Kim: You two stay here. I’ll go up and see Barbara for a minute.
Bob: Don’t be long. I may need rescuing.
Kim: You’re on your own, Toots.
Bob: Be honest with me. Did you make a mistake?
Reid: No. I would tell you if I had. Look, you’ve been really good to me — not counting the stunt you pulled in court to keep me here…
Bob: When someone threatens one of my doctors, they have to go through me. That’s the deal.
Reid: Thank you. Why? What’s in it for you?
Bob: For a genius, you’re clueless.
Kim: Hey — what happened to your new best friend?
Bob: Oh, I know he’s not one of your favorite physicians.
Kim: Ho, ho.
Bob: But you should be relieved that he’s agreed to stay in Oakdale.
Kim: Why? You work twice as hard now as you did before he got here, and so much for cutting down on your hours.
Bob: I’m not going anywhere. With the new wing and Oliver in charge, I think that’ll be my greatest achievement. Second only to our marriage, of course.
Katie: Reid, looking good.
Reid: The answer’s no.
Katie: Listen, today is Bob and Kim’s silver wedding anniversary, and we need someone to help us get them to Tom and Margo’s house for their surprise party.
Reid: What does this have to do with me?
Chris: Aren’t you being sued for malpractice?
Reid: Excuse me?
Chris: News travels fast when you get served in these court orders.
Katie: Kim’s easy, but we need help with Bob, please?
Reid: Fine. Do I get to come to the party?
Chris: It’s more a family thing.
Katie: Sure, if you want to.
2 April 2010
[Chris clears throat]
Reid: Doogie Hughes. What are you doing here?
Chris: You forgot, didn’t you?
Reid: No, I didn’t forget. In fact, I have a very good memory. I even remember there’s this amazing little gadget thingy called the telephone, which you could have used and spared us both the agony of this conversation.
Chris: I just want to make sure you don’t blow this off. This anniversary party’s a big deal for my folks.
Reid: Well, then get off my back or I may just forget to use the amazing little gadget thingy to call mom and pa Hughes and get them to the anniversary party on time.
Chris: You forgot.
Bob: Why are you suddenly so surprised that I’m dedicated to my work? You knew that when you got married to me.
[Cell phone ringing]
Kim: Oh, God. Tell me that’s not Dr. Oliver.
[Cell phone ringing]
Bob: Dr. Oliver, not now.
Reid: Don’t hang up on me, Dr. Hughes. It’s an emergency.
Bob: Kim is okay. She just decided not to come with me.
Bob: Well, it seems that Dr. Oliver was a bit too convincing.
Chris: Why are you still here? You didn’t have to come in.
Reid: Since you entrusted me with the awesome responsibility, I figured I would be conscientious. I drove over to make sure that Dr. Hughes showed up.
Chris: Mm. And when my mom wasn’t with him?
Reid: Well, then I had to see what happened when he walked in alone.
Chris: Well, you did, so you can go now.
Reid: I figured I’d stick around for a little bit. Katie said that you were gonna order some food from Al’s? When do we eat that?
Chris: You don’t.
Chris: I think now that you’ve stuffed your face, you can leave.
Reid: No. I think I’m gonna stick around just a little bit longer. This family is a hell of a lot more interesting than it looks.
Margo: It’s fraud. He’s a con artist who rips people off by pretending he’s a man of the cloth.
Bob: You mean he’s never been ordained and he can’t legally perform marriages?
Tom: I’m afraid not, Dad.
Chris: Hey, wait a minute. What does that make me?
Reid: I always knew you were a bastard. I just didn’t know it was official.
Henry: That’s not funny.
7 April 2010
Reid: Has he communicated with you?
Janet: Yeah. He was worried about me. Can you believe it?
Reid: That’s touching.
Luke: I would never presume that money would take the place of the daughter you lost. But this lawsuit of yours, it could keep Dr. Oliver from his work, from helping other people.
Judd: Or from killing them.
Reid: Mr. Donovan, I’m Dr. Oliver. You don’t know me. I’m the guy who saved your life. You’re welcome.
Reid: Mr. Donovan, in case you haven’t noticed, "Empathy" is not a word that’s usually associated with me, and I don’t get involved in my patients’ personal problems.
Dusty: Stay out of it. That’s all I’m asking.
Reid: Yeah, it sounds like you’re asking for a little more.
Luke: Hey. Here, here. It’s your usual — caramel latte, whipped cream, extra shot. Well, I figured you went to Java for a reason.
Reid: Don’t tell anybody I drink this. Thanks.
Luke: Just so you know, I — I didn’t go and speak with him because I — I wanted to buy him off. I just — I wanted to make that lawsuit just disappear.
Reid: Sounds like the same thing to me.
Luke: So you’re not mad at me?
Reid: No. Actually, believe it or not, Mr. Snyder, I’m impressed.
Luke: Wow! I actually impressed you. Must be one for the record books.
Reid: You went to bat for me, however ill-conceived an attempt it might have been. It took guts, especially the way I’ve been treating you lately. I appreciate the gesture.
8 April 2010
Luke: Dr. Oliver, do you have a minute?
Reid: Actually, no.
Reid: You know, that’s not a terrible idea. Maybe you’re not gonna be as useless on this project as I thought.
Luke: Well, gee, Doctor, that’s just about the nicest thing you ever said to me.
Luke: Hey, Noah.
Noah: And Dr. Oliver?
Reid: Yeah. Right here.
Noah: [Scoffs] Wow. You guys are actually sharing a joke. Okay, okay, what — what did I miss?
Luke: There’s no joke, just an unexpected surprise.
Noah: Which is?
Luke: Well, Dr. Oliver didn’t completely hate one of my ideas for the new neurology wing.
Noah: You’re kidding.
Reid: Nobody’s more surprised about it than I am.
Reid: Don’t let it go to your head.
Luke: Oh, I won’t. You’ll probably shoot down all my next ideas.
Reid: Yeah, most likely.
Noah: Okay, now what am I missing?
Reid: Uh, nothing.
Noah: So, what’s the big idea Dr. Oliver liked?
Reid: Go ahead, Mr. Snyder. Tell him. You’re gonna be paying for it.
Noah: Must be tough for you, working so closely with Luke.
Reid: Why do you say that?
Noah: You never exactly kept it a secret that you dislike him.
Reid: Every day a new hell. What can I say?
Noah: So, how involved in the building of the new hospital wing is Luke gonna be?
Reid: Well, more than I’d like, but he’s tossing in a good portion of the financing, so that kind of makes him God junior.
Noah: Yeah, God senior doesn’t like that.
Noah (to Reid): I hate to break this to you, but you both have major control issues.
Reid: Did you just react to the light?
Noah: I — don’t know. Something’s going on.
Reid: Describe it to me.
Noah: It’s like, um, a flash of white or something. It’s not completely dark. Is that good?
Reid: It ain’t bad.
Luke: My situation is much less difficult than you and Dad’s. You shared an entire life together.
Lily: Sometimes it feels like we shared several of them.
Luke: Yeah, that just makes it harder, huh?
Lily: When did you get so smart?
Luke: You really love him still, don’t you?
Lily: I honestly don’t know what I feel anymore, Luke.
Luke: Well, I guess you only have two options — fight for him or move on.
Lily: Is that advice for me or for you?
Reid: It’s a very good precursor. It means that I’m more optimistic about success than I was.
Noah: If you’re optimistic, I’m ecstatic.
Reid: Uh, don’t try and hug me or anything.
Noah: Dr. Oliver —
Reid: No hugs.
Reid: Henry and Vienna are back together?
Katie: Yep. And thanks in part to moi.
Reid: You just can’t help but meddle, can you?
Katie: No. It’s in my DNA.
Katie: I kept Henry from making a colossal mistake.
Reid: Something tells me that guy would be serving a life sentence somewhere if it wasn’t for you.
Reid: Noah Mayer had a minor breakthrough.
Katie: He got his sight back?
Reid: I said "Minor," not "Major."
Reid: I’ll never understand the human heart.
Katie: Yeah. I’ve been telling you that since we met. Something tells me this has something to do with Luke.
Reid: Luke’s willing to do anything for Noah, including blackmail. Don’t ask. But Noah’s willing to chuck it all away for I don’t know what, pride. It doesn’t make any sense.
Katie: Oh, my God, Dr. Oliver.
Katie: You have a thing for Luke, don’t you?
Reid: I do not have a thing for Luke Snyder. It’s his fault that I’m stuck in this one-horse town to begin with.
Reid: The guy thinks he can buy and sell anything, including people.
Katie: And something tells me you don’t find that half as unattractive as you’d like people to believe.
Reid: The guy is completely hung up on Noah, okay? As soon as Noah gets his eyesight back, they’re gonna be back together.
Katie: And that doesn’t make you jealous at all?
Reid: Oh, what’s wrong? One matchmaking success a week isn’t enough for you? Why don’t you have a life of your own?
Katie: I have a baby and a job. I don’t have time for a life. And don’t try to turn this around on me. We were talking about your love life.
Reid: Mr. Snyder, this is Dr. Oliver. I have something I need to tell you.
Luke: About my brilliant idea? Well, I’ve got tons more where that came from.
9 April 2010
Luke: And he asked you out on a date?
Noah: Luke, how many times do I have to tell you it’s not a date?
Luke: So he’s not gay? Is he gay or not, Noah?
Noah: Yeah, he’s gay.
Luke: Well, then, that sounds like a date.
Kim: Don’t you talk to my husband like that.
Reid: Hi, I’m the best surgeon at this hospital. I do something that matters. And what do you do? Oh, that’s right. You produce tabloid television.
Bob: Okay, that’s enough. You can say what you want to me, but you make one more remark like that to my wife, I’ll knock you on your back.
Luke: All right, come with me and keep your mouth shut.
Reid: What the hell are you doing? Let go of me!
Reid: What the hell are you doing? I was in the middle of a conversation with my chief of staff!
Luke: No, you were about to get canned by your chief of staff ’cause you couldn’t stop running your mouth.
Luke: Can you stop being so outraged and just try to tow the line?
Reid: Could you try taking a hike, since you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about?
Luke: All right, the first thing is you’ve got to respect Dr. Hughes a little bit more, no matter what kind of information he’s in charge of delivering to you.
Reid: You don’t get it. He could have fought for me. He’s choosing not to! He’s sticking his head in the sand! I’m the one who’s gonna lose my career, not him. He might as well just shoot me. It would be a hell of a lot easier.
Reid: If I can’t work, if I can’t be in the operating room, I’ve got nothing.
Luke: But you yourself said that these charges were baseless.
Reid: Nobody’s listening to me.
Luke: Well, then, get yourself a lawyer and fight for it. Make them listen to you and just — just keep doing your job.
Reid: I am on suspension until the inquiry’s closed.
Luke: Well, maybe that’s a good thing.
Reid: Why, so I don’t accidentally kill Noah, too?
Luke: No. So you can focus on getting these charges dropped.
Reid: I can’t focus without my work. I haven’t had more than a day off since I started med school. It’s all I know. All I am is a doctor. Without it, I truly don’t have anything else to hold on to. That’s why, Mr. Snyder, I need you.
Reid: Your name, your money, your power — all of it. I want to use it.
Reid: Bribe somebody, blackmail them. I don’t care. Just get me back in the operating room.
Reid: Look, I don’t — I know you don’t care about me. Why would you? But if you can help me, I can help Noah. Isn’t Noah the one man in this world you love enough to do anything for?
Luke: I need to talk to you. Here’s the thing. I’m not gonna do anything illegal, immoral, or underhanded, even if it’s for the right reason. I’ve done it before, and it never turns out the way I wanted it to, and I never feel good about myself afterwards. It makes me feel like I’m Damian Grimaldi’s son.
Reid: You are Damian Grimaldi’s son.
Luke: Yeah. You called me Mr. Snyder for a reason.
Reid: A plea from a lovesick boyfriend to a medical board isn’t gonna get me back on the operating room.
Luke: Probably not, but I think my grandmother might.
Luke: She has friends in high places. I asked her for help, and because she loves me, she made a few calls.
Reid: To whom?
Luke: The Texas medical review licensing board. They scheduled an emergency hearing. So you have to go, and you have to fight well. But I guess you fighting and saying that you’re right probably wouldn’t be very hard for you, so — this is the part where you say thank you.
Reid: Thank you.
Luke: Well, don’t schedule any surgeries. We have a lot of work to do if we’re gonna beat this.
Luke: Yeah. I’m not letting you do this alone. I’m going to Texas with you.
Reid: How many private planes does your family have anyway?
Luke: Do you want to get to the board and plead your case or not?
Luke: You have a problem with Al’s?
Reid: No. It’s just that being your grandmother’s plane and all, I thought they’d have white-glove, in-flight catering — you know, borscht, caviar, whatever it is you people eat.
Luke: That’s not really my style. I get chili.
Reid: With cornbread?
Reid: I’m gonna get some magazines for the flight.
Luke: Okay, well, don’t be long.
Reid: It’s a private plane. Don’t they wait?
15 April 2010
Luke: You’ve got the medical jargon down pat, but that doesn’t mean anything to me.
Reid: Yeah, well, I’m gonna be explaining this to a panel of doctors, probably not good ones, but hopefully they’ll have some clue what I’m talking about.
Luke: Look, that’s not the point. This is more than just science.
Reid: And you know this from your dozens of successful interrogations by the Texas board of medicine?
Luke: I think you feel a lot more than you let on, and how you tell her story is gonna be the difference between you keeping your medical license or losing it.
Reid: This is a medical hearing. It’s not a talent show. What matters are the facts, not feelings.
Luke: Yeah, but facts are more than just numbers! This board is gonna want to hear from you and not Dr. Reid Oliver, the incredible neurosurgeon. They’re gonna want to hear from Dr. Reid Oliver, the man.
Reid: A year before Annie Judd died, I told her father that she had terminal cancer. Now he wants to punish me for being right.
Luke: Or maybe he just wants to hear that you’re sorry.
Luke: You should try being human once in a while. It won’t make you any less of a surgeon.
Luke: Mr. Judd is a grieving father hell-bent on revenge. He’s gonna talk about her — her final days, her battle. He’s gonna talk about how she died. He’s gonna break their hearts.
Reid: With any luck, one of them will be a cardiologist.
Luke: You know, this is not the time to joke around! Look, I know you care about your work, but, quite frankly, you come off as just really cold, and I know you don’t mean to.
Reid: Don’t psychoanalyze me.
Luke: Why not? That’s what the board’s gonna do. They’re gonna try to figure out if you’re too reckless to be in the O.R., and you need to prove to them that if they take away your medical license, they are killing people.
Reid: She always lit up when I walked in the room. I miss that smile. Nobody smiles when I walk in a room. Most of the time, they act like it’s the grim reaper, and I’m okay with that, but I didn’t want to be that for Annie. I miss Annie. The world misses her. Because I couldn’t save her, they’re never gonna know it.
Luke: People think that you’re a brilliant doctor because you’re fearless. They don’t know it’s because you care so much.
Reid: You sound like a self-indulgent celebrity therapist.
Luke: Why do you do that? You came so close to being a real human with real emotions, and you just go right back to being a jerk.
Reid: You’re wrong, Mr. Snyder. I’m always a jerk.
Luke: After all this time, you can’t call me by my first name?
Reid: Oh, come on. I don’t have time for —
Luke: No, no, no. My name is Luke. Just say it.
Reid: What does it matter what I call you?
Luke: Mr. Snyder is my father. I’m Luke
Luke: You call Noah by his first name.
Reid: He’s my patient.
Reid: It’s a simple, well-defined relationship. It’s patient-doctor. It’s clear.
Luke: So what does that make us, then?
Luke: You’re not, um, room service.
Reid: You’re not, um, dressed. I knew you’d take forever getting ready. Here, maybe this will help get your butt in gear.
Luke: You sure you’re ready for this?
Reid: The inquisition? Sure. I’m not afraid of those dinosaurs.
Luke: [Laughs] Well, could you just try to respect them for a couple hours? You can’t be the head of the new wing and don’t have a medical license.
Luke: One word of advice.
Reid: Just one?
Luke: Yeah. Keep repeating your mantra.
Reid: Which is?
Luke: Don’t be an ass.
Reid: Hey, thanks, you know, for all this. Nobody’s ever — I mean, I know you’re not doing it ’cause you care about my career. It’s all for Noah’s sake, but —
Luke: No. I — I do care.
Luke: I flew down with Dr. Oliver [note: Van says Dr. Reid and it wasn’t dubbed over. Argggghhh!!! Most annoying flub ever!].
Noah: Wow. I’m surprised you guys didn’t kill each other on the flight.
Noah: That is so you.
Luke: What is?
Noah: Putting aside your personal feelings for me. It can’t be easy for you.
Luke: Well, it’s not as bad as I thought.
Luke: You’re gonna be great.
Reid: Easy for you to say.
Luke: No. It’s not.
22 April 2010
Reid: Sure you don’t want to talk to Mommy some more?
Luke: That was business.
Reid: Only the pretentious do business in tuxedos, Mr. Snyder.
Luke: Well, then, you must own several.
Reid: Don’t let me keep you from your appointed rounds. I mean, if there’s flesh that you need to press, by all means go forth and fund-raise.
Luke: You know what? I didn’t think this was possible, but you are even crankier than usual. Lucky for you, I am giving you a free pass.
Luke: You lived here for years. What’s there to do?
Reid: I don’t know.
Luke: Well, don’t you have some friends that we could call?
Reid: All my friends actually work.
Luke: Well, how about a favorite restaurant?
Reid: I do takeout.
Luke: Favorite bar? Club? Lounge? Ice-skating rink? Bowling alley?
Luke: [Laughs] No friends, no fun, no life. You, Dr. Oliver, are a sad, sad man.
Luke: How can you live in a place for years without stumbling upon one cool place to hang out or good restaurant?
Reid: Not everybody’s a loaded bank account with tons of free time. I was a little busy, actually, fixing people’s brains. Although I have to admit, if the board rules against me, I’m going to have plenty of free time on my hands. And then won’t that be fun? I could see the way those old buzzards were looking at me. They can’t wait to really stick it to a young hotshot like me, teach me a lesson. Hey, Snyder —
Luke: Oh, I’m sorry. Were you — were you saying something?
Reid: My life is over. I’ll never work again. Blah, blah, blah.
Reid: Don’t tell me. You found the nearest gay bar.
Luke: Not exactly. Come on!
Reid: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Reid: This isn’t exactly my kind of place.
Luke: Well, you don’t exactly have a kind of place, because you never go out.
Reid: Yeah, but still, I’m not really sure how welcome we are here.
Luke: Would you relax? We’re just going to get a couple drinks, listen to music, and hang out. It’s not like we’re going to be making out or anything.
Reid: There’s a brain trust. Why would anybody with a synapse in their head want to have their body swinging around like that?
Luke: Because it’s fun. You’ve heard of fun, right? There has to be some part of your brain that handles that.
Reid: Yeah, see? That’s — a lot of people think that, that there’s a single pleasure center of the brain when in actuality, there are several that can be activated by chemicals, electrodes, even rapidly moving images. What are you doing? You’re not really going to do that? That’s insane.
Reid: On the other hand, pun intended, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do.
Luke: Wait. Dr. Oliver, you don’t have to do that.
Reid: How hard can it be? You did it. You just get on and ride, right?
Reid: I wish I didn’t care this much. This phone call — it’s everything. It’s Noah’s surgery. It’s my career. It’s my life. What if they tell me I can’t practice medicine anymore?
Luke: Well, we’ll keep fighting. You’re way too obnoxious to lie down and die.
Luke: Without it, you’re going to be fine. You’re more than a doctor.
Reid: What else am I?
Luke: You’re an urban cowboy.
Reid: I’m reinstated. Can you believe it? Vasko said they’re going to keep the investigation open. Why, I have no idea. I’m certainly not guilty of any malpractice, which they’re going to discover eventually. But in the meantime, I can get out of here. God, I can’t wait to get back in the operating room, make the first incision. You have no idea what this means to me.
Luke: Dr. Oliver, you — you do realize that you kissed me, right? And, I mean, that’s okay. It’s nothing to be embarrassed by. I mean, you’re excited. You just got some really good news. But I think it would be kind of weird if we pretended that it didn’t happen.
Reid: I know what I did. It had nothing to do with the phone call. I wanted to kiss you. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a long time, Luke.
28 April 2010
Reid: Where you got to go? Got another awards banquet to run off to?
Luke: You mean for my multimillion-dollar foundation? Uh, no, I — I think I am caught up. Why?
Reid: Well, I figure I owe you for helping me meet the medical board and saving my career. So what do you say? Pizza and a beer, we’re even?
Luke: [Laughs] You’re so generous.
Luke: I don’t drink.
Reid: All right, forget the beer. I’ll throw in watching the game instead.
Luke: You really don’t owe me anything.
Reid: And if you leave now, we can go back to being Dr. Oliver and Mr. Snyder, and we don’t have to talk about that kiss. Is that the idea?
Luke: There’s nothing to talk about. A kiss is just a kiss.
Reid: Don’t worry, Luke. It won’t happen again — unless you want it to.
Luke: Pizza sounds good.
Reid: Hey, I like baseball.
Luke: I know something that you like more.
Reid: Brain surgery?
Luke: More than that.
Luke: You live for not talking.
Reid: I like to talk. I just don’t do small talk. It’s a waste of time.
Luke: Yeah, but this means you’d have to be civil — at least until the pizza came.
Reid: Hey, I haven’t said anything insulting to you for at least 48 hours.
Reid: Everything you’ve done since then doesn’t matter? Getting him into rehab, kidnapping the finest neurosurgeon in the country to do his surgery?
Luke: Full of yourself much?
Reid: I’m just saying, for him to keep dumping on you after everything you’ve done for him — frankly, it’s rude.
Luke: You’re not blind, and you’re rude. What’s your excuse?
Reid: It’s time somebody stuck up for you.
Luke: I’m fine.
Reid: Noah’s blaming you. You’re letting him. You guys are both idiots.
Reid: Accidents happen. They’re not always somebody’s fault. It’s not okay for Noah to beat up on you, calling the shots while you put your life on hold, waiting for him to come around. Aren’t you sick of that yet? You sure as hell should be.
Luke: I don’t want to discuss my relationship with Noah.
Reid: Okay, fine. We don’t have to talk about it. We can talk about something else. We can talk about your foundation, how the Cubs suck almost as much as the Astros, our kiss. What?
Luke: Well, now I’m the one that doesn’t want to talk.
Reid: It’s ’cause you liked it.
Luke: There could be a lot of reasons for that, like it’s been a long time.
Luke: And, uh — being wanted by someone like you, it’s a compliment.
Luke: Saved by the bell.
Reid: This guy is getting a lousy tip.
Reid: Anybody ever tell you you have lousy timing?
Pizza delivery guy: I get that a lot.
Luke: But you wanted to talk to Reid.
Noah: [Scoffs] It’s Reid now?
Luke: All right, let me get this straight. My ex might get his eyesight back tomorrow, and we can’t talk about that, but you are free to tell me every reason that Noah and I shouldn’t be together.
Reid: Yeah, that — that about sums it up. It’s called doctor/patient privilege.
Luke: Well, that is not what this is about, and you know it. You didn’t want to tell me about Noah’s surgery because you knew that I would go straight to him and see him through it.
Reid: You’re acting like I’m the only one who knew the time and date of this surgery. Noah knew. Did he — did he call you? Did he ask for your loving support?
Luke: You were too busy trying to work me, trying to start something with me.
Reid: I thought we were starting something together.
Reid: What is my sinister plan, huh? Keep him blind so he’ll need you? Restore his sight so he wants you back?
Luke: Who knows? Who knows what you think. Because one minute, you’re this pompous ass, and then the next minute, you’re kissing me and making me feel like —
Reid: Feel like what?
Luke: I don’t know.
Reid: Yeah, you do. How do I make you feel?
Reid: Oh, really?
Reid: I don’t play games, Luke. I’m not that guy.